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Fraser Anning admits to not having a clue

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The authenticity of this article can be verified by this accompanying photo which has clearly not been created in PhotoShop (Image by Dan Jensen)

In this exclusive interview, Senator Anning opens up about some recent adventures to IA's Rocky Dabscheck.

IA:  Senator, it appears you have recently found yourself in situations that were not as you first thought.

ANNING:  That’s putting it lightly. And haven’t the predatory media had a field day from it?

IA Let’s look at one or two things that have happened. Your explanation for being at “The Little Touch of Paradise House of Content”, for example.

ANNING:  Yes, happy to explain. A friend knew I was looking to renovate my home and I was interested in viewing different styles of décor, design and themes.

IA:  Yes, go on.

ANNING:  I was informed of an establishment that had several rooms, decorated in different styles and themes. The Cleopatra Room — obviously Egyptian in flavour. The Vegas Room, the Medici Room, the Kensington Palace Room — very British, mahogany wood and Chesterfield leather everywhere. The Class Room, complete with its own whiteboard and desks. The White House Room, modelled on 19th century American opulence.

The one venue and lots of different styles, all under one roof.

IA:  Very good, but that doesn’t explain why you were found naked in a spa.

ANNING:  Oh, that! I was rather fatigued after having really studied all those different styles, plus several others, so the establishment’s owner suggested I avail myself of a relaxing spa in The Vegas Room. So I thought, why not?

IA Yes, but how do you explain the three women also in the spa at the time you were enjoying your “relaxing spa”?

ANNING:  I was as surprised as anyone when I found myself in that sunken spa with three young ladies. As stated earlier, I really was very tired and the relaxing, warm, bubbly water soon had me nodding off. Imagine my surprise when I woke up to find three gorgeous women sharing the spa with me.

IA:  Yes, I can imagine. But hadn’t you twigged before then?

ANNING:  Twigged to what?

IA:  What the place really was. Hadn’t you noticed other people? What the women were wearing?

ANNING:  Come to think of it, there was a room with quite a few scantily clad young women sitting around, looking rather bored. I just thought the wifi may have crashed for a while, so that’s why they were looking so bored.

IA:  That does sound a tad farfetched and highly unlikely. Well, what about your appearance at the far-Right rally recently in St Kilda?

ANNING:  Oh, that?

IA:  Yes, that. Can you explain charging your costs to the Australian taxpayers?

ANNING:  Of course I can and, yet again, the media cocked it up big time. I am a proud Queenslander, but even I have to admit Melbourne is famous for its café culture of coffee and cake. It attracts millions of tourists down there each year.

I’d heard about Acland Street’s famous cake and pastry precinct, so I came down to see it and experience it for myself. Those German Black Forest cakes are to die for.

And, lo and behold, who do I bump into on the St Kilda foreshore but my carpenter, Blair Cottrell. He made a table for me a few years back. Lovely guy. He was there with a few of his mates.

IA A few of his mates? Some of them had Nazi paraphernalia and were doing the Nazi salute.

ANNING:  Really? I didn’t see any of that. As I said, I was in St Kilda to research those Acland Street cake shops and maybe set up something similar here in Queensland, hence billing my trip to taxpayers.

IA:  That really does leave me incredulous. All these situations you unwittingly find yourself in, just by some quirky chance. Really? I mean, really?!

ANNING: That’s all well and good, but think about it — I got 19 votes, that’s just a little over one in a million voters voted for me and bingo, I find myself in the Senate. Go figure.

Rocky Dabscheck is a musician/songwriter and front person for Rocky and The Two Bob Millionaires. He is also the author of 'Stoney Broke and the Hi-Spenders'.

You can purchase Rocky's book, 'Stoney Broke and the High Spenders' from the IA store here. The CD '42/68' by Rocky and the Two Bob Millionaires is also available from the IA store here. 

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