Who is Fraser Anning?

By | | comments |
Fraser Anning prepares for his interview (Image created by Dan Jensen)

In order to answer this question, Senator Fraser Anning agreed to a one-on-one interview with Independent Australia at his home in Gladstone, Queensland.

ANNING: Welcome to my home. Quite striking, isn’t it?

IA: Yes it is, but what first struck me was your outfit. White suit, white shirt and tie, white socks and the obligatory Queensland white shoes. What’s the story?

ANNING: My favourite writer is Tom Wolfe and he was famous for wearing white suits, you know.

IA: Yes, I do know. Which of his novels is your favourite?

ANNING: That’s easy. The White Stuff.

IA: I think you mean, The Right Stuff.

ANNING: The Right Stuff? Are you sure? I read it cover to cover. It’s just a word. If I’ve got it wrong I make no apologies. No big deal — just a word. Nothing to get upset over.

IA: That’s okay. Let’s get to know more about you. Music reveals a lot about someone. Three favourite songs?

ANNING: Easy! White Christmas by Bing Crosby. The White Cliffs of Dover by Vera Lynn and White Room by Cream. My favourite album of all time is The Beatles White Album.

IA: Mmm. Quite eclectic taste. Favourite meal?

ANNING: I enjoy my tucker. For an entree, white sourdough bread with onion and parsnip soup. For the mains, fried potato, cauliflower and feta, smothered in white sauce on rice. And for dessert, vanilla ice cream with coconut flakes. All washed down with a bottle or two of white wine, of course.

IA: Goodness, you’ve got my mouth watering at the mere thought of it. I can’t help but notice everything in this room is white. Is that because of the white room in which John and Yoko filmed Imagine at their Tittenhurst Park home?

ANNING: Lord, no! I have to carry through on my White Australia Policy declaration. Had the house repainted white. Got rid of the old furnishings and replaced them with white furniture. New, white cashmere carpet from wall to wall. Everything white! Fiona, my wife, hates it. She should be here in a minute, back from the supermarket.

IA: That’s all well and good, but we are in your living room — no TV, nothing to play music on, no radio, no computer and, most surprisingly, you don’t have a phone, either mobile or landline. It made contacting you very difficult.

ANNING: Sorry about that.

IA: And, most startling of all, you have a fridge, a dishwasher, a microwave oven, a washing machine and dryer in your living room. I’ve never seen anything like this before, ever! What’s the story? What do you do when you want to watch TV?

ANNING: I know it’s rather unusual. Fiona is livid. You think Malcolm had troubles with Peter and Tony? That’s nothing compared to what’s going on around here at the moment. I hope you noticed the washing machine and dryer are both side loading, which means we can load up the washer, turn it on, put the feet up and watch the clothes spin round and round. Fiona prefers to watch a load of colours. I prefer a load of our whites, of course. I have to remain true to my desire for the re-introduction of the White Australia Policy. Only white goods are allowed in the house now. Hence the fridges and so forth all over the house.

IA: No phones. No computers.

ANNING: Can’t have them. They’re known as brown or black goods. Social media would have a field day with me if it ever got out I had brown goods in my home.

The sound of a car parking in the driveway captures attention. Soon after, Fiona enters the kitchen laden with shopping bags.

FIONA: I’m home Fraser. Where are you?

ANNING: In the living room, dear. Being interviewed.

FIONA: That’s great, but you can get yourself in here and help unpack the groceries?

ANNING: I’d better go in.

IA: That’s okay. I’ll come in with you.

They enter the all white kitchen, where Fiona is unpacking the shopping.

ANNING: Fiona, this nice journalist is here to interview me.

FIONA: Oh, hello, nice to meet you. No need to help with the groceries. We can handle it.

IA: That’s okay.

ANNING: Right. Let’s unpack. Rice, sugar, salt, milk, white bread, scones, white chocolate, turnips, brie, feta, fish, chicken. Good.

FIONA: Vanilla ice cream. Boring, boring, boring!

ANNING: What’s this? Get rid of it immediately!

FIONA: Settle down. Two pieces of fillet steak. Your favourite.

ANNING: Get them out! Now! Red meat, Fiona. Red meat! I told you, everything white from now on. I cannot stand to be in the same room as that meat. Red meat!! No! No! No! 

Let’s go. We’ll leave Fiona to her work. We can finish the interview at the RSL club. My driver is waiting outside. Best thing about this gig. The official company cars all are white.

They leave and make their way to the local RSL in the Senator's Government car.

IA: One last question. Which political head of state would you most like to meet?

ANNING: Easy. Donald J. Trump.

IA: Because of his policies and personality?

ANNING: Not particularly. I just love The White House.

Rocky Dabscheck is a musician/songwriter and front person for Rocky and The Two Bob Millionaires. He is also the author of 'Stoney Broke and the Hi-Spenders'.

You can purchase Rocky's book, 'Stoney Broke and the High Spenders' from the IA store here. The CD '42/68' by Rocky and the Two Bob Millionaires is also available from the IA store here. 

Support independent journalism Subscribe to IA.

Recent articles by Rocky Dabscheck
Scott Morrison's 'hire' calling

Scott Morrison holds a press conference to quell rumours relating to his future ...  
Scott Morrison clarifies his power grab for Jen

After hearing of hubby Scott Morrison’s habit of taking on other ministries, Jen ...  
Plenty of Coalition politicians still to satirise despite election wipeout

To say the political class presents with bountiful fodder for the satirical pen is ...  
Join the conversation
comments powered by Disqus

Support IAIndependent Australia

Subscribe to IA and investigate Australia today.

Close Subscribe Donate