The NSW Premier shares her gold standard strategy for the Delta strain, including plans to have Sydney's North Shore fully vaccinated by next week, in this ABC 'Insniders' exclusive.
Well, I think what’s important to know is that there is no roadmap when it comes to the Delta variant, or indeed the godforsaken ruination north of Tweed Heads or south of Albury.
~ NSW Premier Gladrags Bereftoclues
Listen on Spotify HERE:
DAVID SKYNEWS: Good morning and welcome to ABC Insniders. My name is David Skynews and our very special guest today here on Insniders is a lady who may have been unlucky-in-love but who still, nonetheless, saved the nation of New South Wales, along with its far-flung bush provinces from total devastation.
A gold standard morning to you, New South Wales Premier Gladrags Bereftoclues!
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: Thank you, David. It’s very nice to be here.
DAVID SKYNEWS: Before we begin, Madam Premier, I’d just like to say, once again, on behalf of our sponsors — I mean, listeners … you are doing an outstanding job, not only in leading the great nation of NSW during these very difficult times but also in providing a role model for the Labor Party-voting yokels occupying the dystopian Mad Max-style desert hellscape that makes up much of the rest of this vast and abhorrent continent. I know I speak for us all when I say, thank you, Madam Premier.
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: Thank you, David, you really doo doo your research! My role, as the Gold Standard Premier of the state of Sydney, and a beacon and trailblazer for all those in other states, sleeping rough out in the country, is just a great privilege.
DAVID SKYNEWS: Now, despite your incredible leadership there are a few terribly mean critics who have dared to question your COVID response, and even compared you with Premier Dictator Dan Andrews. What do you say to ungrateful churls?
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: Well, I think what’s important to know is that there is no roadmap when it comes to the Delta variant, or indeed the godforsaken ruination north of Tweed Heads or south of Albury.
DAVID SKYNEWS: Oh, indeed, Premier, but some impertinent people have suggested that Victoria actually provided the roadmap by getting the Delta variant under control, with hard fast lockdowns and mandatory mask-wearing.
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: Well, you know, David, while I do very much like hard and fast activity (laughs), looking at what’s happening frantically over your shoulder is not always that productive. It certainly doesn’t mean we should learn from it.
Now, I don’t like to comment on other states, as you know, David.
DAVID SKYNEWS: Never!
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: So, let’s not forget that other states – and I don’t like to point the finger at anyone in particular, not even Dictator Dan or Princess Palaszczuk – but these states might be facing regular lockdowns (laughs) and enforced mask-wearing! I mean, they’re just in and out all the time, David! I mean, for goodness sake, constant in and out can really begin to chafe, especially in the absence of some sort of slick and well-oiled exit strategy.
I completely agree with Minister Brad Health Hazzard. If you come here from other countries ... and move to Sydney’s western Labor-held suburbs, ... then you’re singlehandedly responsible for the spread of these Delta germs...
DAVID SKYNEWS: Quite, Madam Premier! But perhaps you can detail how you plan to get the infection rate down without very hard lockdowns and mask-wearing such as in Victoria?
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: I’d love to, David. It’s really very simple. Also, as I’ve said, it’s not for me to comment on the Badlands states or their clearly primitive methods.
DAVID SKYNEWS: You never would, Premier!
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: I mean, those poor people in Victoria and Queensland! Of course, we’re not going to go in and out of lockdown, willy nilly. We’re not going to force people to wear masks, either, apart, of course, in their private lives.
I mean, sure, maybe it works, but that’s no reason for us to do it. Not only does this interfere with all our very important business partners – like Harvey Norman who might show a slightly reduced profit because of it – but it was a Labor Party plan, for goodness sake!
No, I’m very proud of our gold standard strategy. Our plan is, to hell with lockdowns and those annoying masks. Let’s just get those vaccination rates to 50… or maybe 20… ten — ten per cent of the population, will do.
DAVID SKYNEWS: But we don’t have enough vaccines, Premier, and may not, in fact, until Christmas.
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: Well of course we don’t, David! That’s why we’re stealing them from other states and from the enormous stockpile hoarded for us by the wonderful Prime Minister of New South Wales Scott Morrespin.
And so, I look forward to when we can live freer than other states because we are more vaccinated… probably by the end of next week.
DAVID SKYNEWS: Brilliant, Premier! And how will these vaccines be distributed? There has also been criticism about NSW getting preferential treatment from the Federal Government and also some areas of NSW being unfairly advantaged over others.
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: Well, once again, that’s absolutely right, David! I mean we are the state that saved Australia for starters, and we even started the Delta variant, so, of course, we’ll get the lion’s share of any vaccines, especially the ones that work, like Pfizer.
And as for some areas of NSW getting preferential treatment, well, all I can say is, I completely agree with Minister Brad Health Hazzard. If you come here from other countries – particularly ones we don’t like – and move to Sydney’s western Labor-held suburbs, where you’ve lived for possibly 50 years, then you’re singlehandedly responsible for the spread of these Delta germs, so you can hardly expect us to help you, now can you?
DAVID SKYNEWS: Indeed, Premier, well said. And what about the complaints concerning the pork barrelling of redistributed vaccines from regional areas?
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: Oh David, some people are never happy, are they? I mean, yes, regional communities, particularly remote Indigenous communities are at greater risk but that doesn’t mean we’ll be prioritising them over the VIPs on the North Shore!
I mean, for heaven’s sake, some of these VIP families even have children studying HSC at exclusive schools – so obviously, that would just be barbaric!
DAVID SKYNEWS: Oh, you do think of everything, Madam Premier!
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: I do, indeed, David — they don’t call me, Gold Standard Gladrags for nothing!
DAVID SKYNEWS: Quite! Well, Madam Premier, it’s been an absolute delight to have you on our program but I’m afraid we’re out of time. Thank you for saving the day, once again, Premier Gladrags Bereftoclues.
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: It’s been my absolute pleasure to be on your fine program, David Skynews, once again. And to show my Government’s appreciation, as promised, I’ve brought an advanced media release for your follow-up article, detailing how we’ve managed to get the community infection rate down to just one local case, next week, and our vaccination rate is now at 89 per cent (including 100 per cent of HSC students Sydney Grammar School and the King’s School and …. (trails off)
(Community service announcement plays)
GLADRAGS BEREFTOCLUES: ...Not forgetting Scot’s College and Cranbrook and Saint Ignatious… (trails off)
You can also listen on YouTube HERE:
Written by Michelle Pini. Performed by Michelle Pini, David Donovan and Dan Jensen. Theme music by Rocky Dabscheck.
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