Satire Opinion

No, cyber seniors... Sat Nav is not a bloke from the office

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(Image by lyncconf.com | Flickr)

During a vintage conversation about technology, Mick realises Bazza really is "old school".

“There you go, Baz. Get a beer into you. How was the trip to Melbourne? I can’t  believe you drove that old 1970s Holden Ute all the way south.”

They both took long sips.

“You know, Mick, sometimes I think we are living in a museum. It has been almost two years since I went to see my daughter in Melbourne and it’s a changed world."

Mick half chuckled and sighed at the thought of the lengthy yarn.

“I left early and had no troubles leaving the coast. I stopped on the other side of Bungendore to check the map and find a particular winery to buy a bit of local vino as a gift.”

Bazza went on.

“So there I am with the map spread out over the bonnet of the car and this young bloke pulls up and says ‘Sat Nav not working today, mate?' I assure him I’m all fine, but I do ask him who Sat Nav is and why I need to know whether he’s working today.”

Mick groaned.

“I arrived at my daughter’s new place in Melbourne. It’s a good place —  two bathrooms and I think I counted three toilets for a family of four. I grew up in a house with ten people with the one toilet and one bathroom, but that’s another story.”

Bazza paused for a sip and Mick gazed out the window.

Anyhow, the daughter is now working from home and has to attend some Zoom meeting in the home office. She gives me the option of waiting in either the home theatre, the dining room, the lounge, the spare bedroom, the outside deck or around the pool.

 

I need a bloody compass to get around the place, but do you think I can find a newspaper in this choice of waiting rooms? I’ve got no idea how they stay informed.

Mick’s eyes glazed over and they both sought relief in another sip.

Well, the kids arrive home from school and I get the eldest to come with me to the newsagency. He jumps in the car and says straight away, ‘Sat Nav is missing.’ I can’t help thinking this bloody Sat Nav is one lazy bloke.

Bazza is warming up.

But, anyway, he then wants to play some music, so I direct him to the glove box to pick a cassette tape. He grabs a Neil Young tape and tries every which way to put it into the cassette player. Frustrated, he then gives the tape a rattle and even holds it up to his ear. I put it on for him and then he just pats the play button. I push the button and Neil Young singing, 'Old man take a look at your life’ has him half laughing.

Mick broke into a chuckle.

“Well, Mick, we are not even at the end of the street and he wants the air con on. Of course, I tell him to wind down the window instead and he’s stroking invisible buttons. He even tries, ‘Hey, Siri... wind down the window’.”

Mick shook his head.

“Well… I can see what you mean about living in a museum, Bazza.”

Bazza half smiled.

“Just hold on a bit, Mick. We get home and the young bloke flies into the house and says to his Dad, ‘That car is so cool. It has these windows where you wind a handle, then the window comes down. Why can’t we get a car with that kind of technology?’”

"I tell you, Mick, the look on his father’s face was worth the trip to Melbourne."

John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and history teacher on the South Coast of NSW.

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