Treasurer Flyhindenberg reveals a few important numbers for Laura Tangle — and why it's Dan Andrews' fault.
You had a poor innocent limo driver in New South Wales who made a whoopsy. No-one’s fault, and definitely not Gold Standard Gladys and her incredibly efficient team.
With respect to Victoria, they had a massive quarantine failure because of Dan Andrews' outrageous Labor Party incompetence — and general poor hygiene and bad table manners.
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LAURA TANGLE: And the Treasurer, Josh Flyhindenberg, joins ABC $7.15 live from Melbourne. Treasurer, thanks for joining us tonight.
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: My pleasure, Laura.
LAURA TANGLE: Treasurer Flyhindenberg, the May Budget assumed there would be no more extended lockdowns. The PM has today conceded that the largest economy in the country, NSW, will be going into extended lockdown. What's going to be the economic impact?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Look, it will be significant. Obviously, you get border closures, you get supply chains disruptions, you get delayed investment decisions. It’s going to be bad. We expect that the New South Wales lockdown will cost the economy at least $700 a week.
LAURA TANGLE: $700 dollars? A week?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: No, not $700, obviously. I read that figure wrong. I meant $64.5 billion a week.
LAURA TANGLE: $64 billion dollars a week?!
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Too much? Would you believe $700 million a week?
LAURA TANGLE: I see. But what will that mean in terms of employment, though?
That’s exactly why I want Scott’s job. Numbers aren’t exactly my thing, to be honest. I mean, fair dinkum, Laura, I have to pull my pants down to count to 11.
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Well, Scott’s looking pretty shaky, so hopefully I’ll be able to ride this one out into an even better gig. What… have you heard something?
LAURA TANGLE: I was asking you about the economy, Treasurer Flyhindenberg. The job numbers?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Everyone’s always doing that. That’s exactly why I want Scott’s job. Numbers aren’t exactly my thing, to be honest. I mean, fair dinkum, Laura, I have to pull my pants down to count to 11.
LAURA TANGLE: But if the biggest part of the economy is about to go into lockdown for a long period of time, the question is what impact is it going to have on growth?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Buggered if I know, but it’s Scott’s home state so we’re throwing money at the problem like a drunken sailor, hoping some of it might stick to some swing voters.
LAURA TANGLE: But this is very different to the approach your Government took with Victoria, when it experienced a similar spike in infections.
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Of course it is! We’ve transitioned to a different phase.
LAURA TANGLE: Well, we may have but whose fault is this lockdown? You blamed Victoria and said the Victorian Government had to take responsibility for the lockdowns there. Is this the New South Wales Government's fault?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Laura, Laura, Laura. Dear poor, silly Laura. You had a poor innocent limo driver in New South Wales who made a whoopsy. No-one’s fault, and definitely not Gold Standard Gladys and her incredibly efficient team. With respect to Victoria, they had a massive quarantine failure because of Dan Andrews' outrageous Labor Party incompetence — and general poor hygiene and bad table manners.
LAURA TANGLE: Treasurer, Premier Andrews has said tonight that your Government's refusal to provide more assistance to the state was a disgrace. Do the apparent double standards reflect the Government's concern it may lose seats in New South Wales?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Well, that's a very cynical question from Daniel Andrews. How dare he try to politicise this crisis?! That’s our job and that of many fine journalists at 2GB and the Murdoch media, along of course with your colleague Windy Sails. Goodness me! As soon a Windy starts asking Andrews questions, you get the bots and the Trots, and the vast numbers of outraged ordinary citizens starting to troll her on social media. The reality is Dan Andrews is a dirty smelly poo bum and I don’t like him and neither do any of my friends! So nyah!
LAURA TANGLE: But Treasurer Flyhindenberg, aren't the current low vaccination rates a key reason New South Wales is facing an extended lockdown?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Well the vaccine rollout has been very challenging and it’s not our fault. It’s the fault of the health people who give us advice. And the work experience guy we sent to negotiate our deal with Pfizer. Oh, and Dan Andrews, obviously!
LAURA TANGLE: But were you too slow…
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Dan Andrews!
LAURA TANGLE: But were you too slow to adjust those vaccine options? Should you have been talking to Pfizer globally?
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: How the hell did any of us have time to talk to Pfizer? It was an around the clock task for the entire Morrison Government, calling every person with any influence whatsoever, for 18 months straight, if not more, to get Mathias Cormann his job at the OECD. It seemed an impossible task, but we managed it. I’m still exhausted. But do we get any credit for pulling that off? Of course not.
LAURA TANGLE: Treasurer, we're out of time, but thank you for joining us on $7.15 tonight.
JOSH FLYHINDENBERG: Thank you, Laura. Hey, I know I’m terrible with numbers, but I thought this show was called 7.30?
LAURA TANGLE: It was, Treasurer, but we had to make a few cuts at the ABC.
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