After hearing of hubby Scott Morrison’s habit of taking on other ministries, Jen confronts Scott at home as he cooks a curry.
Jen: Scott, can you stop stirring your one and only dish for a minute please? There are meals other than curries to cook, you know.
Scott: Hang on, Jen. I’ve almost got it to the perfect colour.
Jen: Now, Scott. Put that ladle down and face me. Right now.
(Scott reluctantly stops stirring, turns and faces his wife.)
Jen: Why didn’t you tell me about all those ministerial positions you took on?
Scott: Didn’t want to bother you with unnecessary, trivial detail, dear.
Jen: Didn’t want to bother me? Well, I am bothered! When you made yourself Health Minister, did you take on all duties involved?
Scott: Of course.
Jen: All the same duties as Greg?
Scott: I’ve already told you, yes.
Jen: Including Greg’s conjugal duties with Paula?
Scott: Jen. Seriously. What is the matter with you? As I told the press, I barely exercised any of the extra duties I bestowed on myself.
Jen: Really? What about when you made yourself Treasurer? Did you push for conjugal duties from Amie?
Scott: Of course not!
Jen: That’s well and good, but when you went into raptures after making yourself Treasurer, did you speak in tongues, or in Yiddish?
Scott: You’re kidding me, aren’t you?
Jen: Next, you’ll be making curried gefilte fish!
Scott: You’ve gone too far now, Jen. Settle down.
Jen: And how about Home Affairs? Did you go to Karen’s home and do it for Queen and Country? Well, did you?
Scott: Jen. I believe Satan has entered you. Take a step back and pray with me.
Jen: And what about all the kids of your co-ministers? Did you get them to call you “Daddy”?
Scott: Jen. Pray with me.
Jen: Is that why Karen came out so forcefully for you to resign? You made her sin with you and she wants you out of the house.
Scott: (On his knees) Dear Lord. Forgive Jen. She knows not what she says. Satan has entered her mind and is controlling her thoughts.
Jen: Shut up, Scott. Jesus, that felt good to say. I should have said that years ago. Shut up, Scott.
Scott: Lord, remove Satan from Jen’s mind.
Jen: And as for that eagle you keep going on about, the divine sign from above, it was a hawk and the only reason it wasn’t laughing at you is because it wasn’t a kookaburra.
Scott: Jen, that is not how it is.
Jen: Okay, Scott, father to all, how is it?
Scott: I will explain why I took on those extra ministries, and non-conjugal duties.
Jen: Explain away.
Scott: At the start of the pandemic, I felt lost. I needed the Lord’s guidance. Whilst we were driving to a meeting in regional New South Wales, I saw a little joey jump into its mother’s pouch. I then realised I had to be the protective parent keeping my Australian flock safe. God sent me this sign, directing me as to what I must do. I needed a bigger pouch, hence the extra ministries.
Jen: Really? A kangaroo and its pouch.
Scott: Yes, Jen. A joey.
Jen: A joey!
Scott: Yes, a joey.
Jen: All I can say is, where’s Joey Hockey when you need him?
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