In an exclusive interview, Prime Minister Scott Morrespin joins Samantha Armasuckup on The Sun Rises to discuss the National Cabinet and Australia's response to the pandemic, diplomatic tensions with China, and his continuing success in the polls.
Look, I think the National Cabinet was a great initiative of mine. The states and territories needed to make their own decisions. I mean, I don’t hold the hose and I don’t hold the hose of wimpy — I mean, hand, of wimpy premiers.
~ Prime Minister Morrespin
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SAMANTHA ARMASUCKUP: Welcome to The Sun Rises. My name is Samantha Armasuckup and I’m delighted to announce that the Prime Minister of Australia, the Honourable Mr Scott John Morrespin is doing us the honour of being in our company this morning. In this very studio!
Prime Minister, thank you so very much for joining us.
PRIME MINISTER SCOTT MORRESPIN: I want this to be perfectly clear, Samantha, that it’s a pleasure to be here.
ARMASUCKUP: And what a privilege it is to have you here! Oh, and please call me Sam.
Prime Minister Morrespin, I’d like to start with your handling of the pandemic. Indeed, it is because of your superlative and singlehanded management that Australia is in such an amazing position today. Would you agree?
MORRESPIN: Indeed, Samantha – Sam. Australia’s has set the gold standard on the virus globally. I can’t be any clearer than that.
ARMASUCKUP: Thanks to you, we are the envy of the world, Prime Minister!
MORRESPIN: Well, I don’t mean to brag but I did tell that Chinese virus where it could go. Back to Wuhan, obviously. (Chuckles)
ARMASUCKUP: (Laughs) You certainly did, Prime Minister! And without any help from that National Cabinet, it needs to be said.
MORRESPIN: That does need to be said. And I’ve said it. Look, I think the National Cabinet was a great initiative of mine. The states and territories needed to make their own decisions. I mean, I don’t hold the hose and I don’t hold the hand of wimpy premiers. Most importantly, I’m not about telling people what to do, as you know, Sam.
ARMASUCKUP: Never, Prime Minister! You are always—
MORRESPIN: (Cuts her off) Can you hold that mike closer! But even so, you know, I tell you, it was quite a challenge. All that talk about locking down, closing borders, forcing people to wear masks. Even closing schools! Fair dinkum! And I had expressly told them that we needed to live alongside the Victorian virus and that schools were perfectly safe. Now, I couldn’t be any more clear than that!
ARMASUCKUP: You were abundantly clear, Prime Minister. Closing schools! How impertinent! Disgraceful, really!
MORRESPIN: It was at times, Sam, I’m not gonna lie. But you know, I stuck to my guns, that we needed to live alongside the virus … which is why we allowed the Ruby Princess to dock. I mean, how else would we able to live alongside COVID, without a COVID outbreak? And my plan worked.
ARMASUCKUP: But don’t you usually stop the boats?
MORRESPIN: I do stop the boats, Samantha. I even have the trophy to prove it! But as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before – and I hope you’ve been keeping up with all my press releases, Samantha – I’m nothing if not flexible. And this was all about living alongside that Chinese/Victorian virus.
ARMASUCKUP: Indeed, you are so adaptable and clever, Prime Minister!
And speaking of that Chinese/Victorian virus, why do you think China is now trying to bully us?
MORRESPIN: Look, Sam, they are just not playing nice. The Chinese have breached all manner of rules we’ve insisted they follow, they stopped talking to me and now and (voice breaks) they stopped… buying our glorious, …sparkling… clean coal.
I mean, if I’ve told them once, I’ve told them a thousand times, how good is Australian coal? Bloody bunch of leaners! This is just going too far.
ARMASUCKUP: Oh, it’s an outrage! A complete disgrace!
I want to turn now to the subject of your incredible popularity —
MORRESPIN: (Interrupting) One of my favourite subjects, Sam.
ARMASUCKUP: So well deserved, Prime Minister! In fact, according to the latest Fakeitnewspoll, I believe your popularity is now at 103 per cent! What do you think it is that makes the Australian people love you so.
MORRESPIN: Well, you know, Sam, let me tell you a thing or two about popularity.
It’s to do with just being a Dad. Which I am, more than once.
It’s to do with charisma. Which I have, in spades!
And it’s about action. Which is what I do. I’m an action man. I do all sorts of stuff. As I’m sure your viewers will have seen from recent photos and footage featured in all the key media outlets of me climbing out of submarines and on outback properties in moleskins. I am also pretty easy on the eyes, which I guess doesn’t hurt (chuckles).
Finally, it’s to do with community support for all that stuff I do, from all the key community leaders. Like mining magnates and the people who fabricate — conduct, conduct the polls.
ARMASUCKUP: And you are so photogenic, Mr Prime Minister Morrespin, and such an inspiration! Thank you so much for being on our show. Can I trouble you for a selfie?
MORRESPIN: Thanks Sam, this is why I dead set love being on your hard-hitting current affairs program, The Sun Rises. Fair dinkum!
ARMASUCKUP: Oh, Prime Minister!
MORRESPIN: Oh, Sam!
Written and performed by Michelle Pini and David Donovan. You can follow managing editor Michelle Pini on Twitter @vmp9 and IA founder and director Dave Donovan @davrosz. Follow Independent Australia on Twitter @independentaus and on Facebook HERE.
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