Satire

Australian Citizenship test revised

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(Meme by Natalie Jane Fischer / Facebook)

Scott Morrison is the new Prime Minister (you may wish to write it down but don't bother memorising it) and a leadership change seems like a good time for a revised Australian citizenship test.

Ensure that you get all ten multiple choice questions right before you too can call yourself a true blue Aussie!

Q1.  Name three people who have not yet had a crack as Prime Minister?

a)  Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Paul Keating

b)  Tony Abbott, Malcolm Turnbull, Scott Morrison

c)  Ernie Dingo, Russell Crowe, Bindi Irwin

Q2.  What is the game of two-up all about?

a)  A gambling game made popular by the Diggers, involving two tossed coins and some stray beers

b)  A big night out that began with Shane Warne, his good mate and a false Tinder account

c)  A recent political strategy involving Peter Dutton, Scott Morrison, Julie Bishop and the Liberal Party leadership

Q3.  What is the Big Dry?

a)  When Barnaby Joyce’s wife told him to ease up on all the overtime

b)  A long, dry spell, when Australian farmers are utterly abandoned by people they thought were their friends

c)  Michael Cheika’s Bledisloe Cup strategy

Q4.  Who is the most un-Australian?

a)  Henry Lawson, when he wrote, 'The Star of the South shall rise, in the lurid clouds of war'

b)  John Coyne, an Australian vet, who wrote the article 'Why I won’t go to the official dawn service anymore'

c)  Yassmin Abdel-Magied, who tweeted two entire lines about refugees but just happens to be Muslim

Q5.  Who is more likely to buy Australian?

a)  James Packer

b)  Cate Blanchett

c)  Chinese Premier Xi Jinping

Q6.  Australia’s national waste strategy rests on

a)  The Climate Denial Policy

b)  Deporting as many Maori bikers as possible

c)  Bringing a wee cloth bag down to the supermarket

Q7.  Young Australians can best enter the real estate market by

a)  Moving north to Papua New Guinea

b)  Cutting down on avocados

c)  Renting a bedsit off the daughter of a Chinese billionaire

Q8.  The most lethal predators in Australia are

a)  Roaming gangs of Sudanese migrants

b)  Leather-loafered, blue-suited real estate agents from Queensland

c)  The entire front and back benches of the Liberal Party, but maybe also crocodiles

d)  Snakes

Q9.  Which is warmer?

a)  Bondi Beach

b)  Barnaby Joyce’s desk pad

c)  Peter Dutton’s smile

d)  Tony Abbott’s budgie smugglers

Q10.  What represents the biggest threat to Australian society today?

a)  Pauline Hanson’s hairdo

b)  Australian men, since 34 women have been killed in 27 weeks

c)  Scott Morrison when he said, “I am with you all the way Malcolm …”

ANSWERS

1 c, 2 a, 3 b, 4 c, 5 c, 6 a, 7 c, 8 c, 9 b, 10 b.

Read more by David Meech at jafacentral.com.

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