Abbott's Libspill: A strange mutiny

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What Twitter has been calling the #Libspill was nothing more than a confection culminating in a controlled explosion, concludes Sydney bureau chief Ross Jones.

SMELL A RAT? The media narrative has it that Abbott came close to being rolled, 39 to 61, but in the end the team pulled through and is now more united than ever. The PM is chastened. Members will be consulted. Cabinet remains intact. In fact everything remains intact, because the whole thing was a crock — a confection.

Put another way, it was no more than a carefully controlled explosion.

Peta Credlin is married to the Liberal’s Federal Director Brian Loughnane — and we’ve all seen those movies where the plot line hinges on pillow-talk.

While Peta wasn’t looking, it was a long weekend after all, TA goes and knights Phil. What? Jesus!

Things go from grim to worse and we’re not even halfway through the IPA agenda. Polls plummet. Backbenchers are wavering. Resistance is building. Free trade agreements are waiting to be signed. There is so much more of Australia waiting to be passed to the capitalist caliphate, no time to lose.

What to do?

TA is the perfect IPA puppet — naive, egocentric, a proven sucker for ideology. Like an ill-trained Furby, TA manages to be both inarticulate and repetitive. He cannot be gotten rid of — he is integral to the plan. No one else can be trusted.

Or so easily fooled.

The right wing of the Liberal Party allegedly called and voted for the spill. Why would they do this? Not to install Malcolm, that’s for sure. Or Julie, who was a crap shadow-treasurer and, like Brough, is vulnerable to the spectre of Ashbygate.

There is only one answer: to realign the puppet.

It was never designed to unseat him. On the contrary, it was designed to shore up his position, not with the electorate – irrelevant since September 2013 – but with the internal weaklings.

After the Richter 9 Victorian and Queensland results, things were looking a bit rocky for the Abbottslide LNP members sitting on less that 25 per cent. When the backbench is in this mood it talks, leaks to journos, trying to put some distance between itself and the LNP, with the faint hope of maybe holding out as an independent in 2016.

Something had to be done. And it was.

Everyone has now agreed to do the team thing, so mission accomplished for the time being. Silence rules. Unless you are Malcolm in which case you will be white-anted mercilessly.

The next LNP leader is not yet evident, but after the 2016 election when the four remaining members convene to choose their leader, it should be easy. Mal Brough will pick himself.

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