Peter Dutton thinks World Domination (insert maniacal laugh)

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(Cartoon of Peter Dutton courtesy Keogh Cartoons)

Immigration Minister Peter Dutton is acquiring widespread, unchecked powers. Jim Pembroke considers a curious global implication

IT'S BEEN fairly clear for some time now, that Border Force Tsar and Immigration Minister Peter Dutton is trying to take over the world.

The not-so-humble, ex-Queensland policeman has militarised the Australian Border Force, strategically combined all Government departments so they are under his charge and is in the final stages of perfecting his mind control machine.

As a result, he has pretty much got Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull under his power, with the PM demonstrating he'll do whatever Peter Dutton asks of him.

“So Peter ... taking over the world ... anything else I can get you? ASIO, the Australian Federal Police?”

He also has the rightwing media entranced and is prepping the masses for the takeover.

“Mr Dutton, your super-ministry has a scheduled meeting today. What will you be discussing?”

“Why, what we discuss every day ... World Domination!”

The signs have been there for some time.

We saw his joking contempt for the plight of Pacific Islanders drowning under rising sea levels, "… you're about to have water lapping at your door [Insert maniacal laugh]". 

Then there are the offshore detention centres. No one really believes the demonisation, abuse and incarceration of innocent people will stop at asylum seekers, do they?

And finally, unconfirmed reports that Peter Dutton has a big, red button in his office marked, 'Danger: Do not push'.

Although the super minister is yet to complete his diabolical plan, he is already acting like a cold-hearted overlord. He has sweeping, unchecked powers and is seeking even more control.

He has been busy trying to hijack the marriage equality agenda, undermine the ABC and destroy any resistance that organisations like GetUp might offer.

For those caught up in his evil web, the only recourse is to stall for time. Hopefully, the prison guard will get drunk, fall asleep and you'll be able to reach for the key. Or the evil villain will leave you tied to an overly elaborate and pointless death contraption from which you'll easily escape before the digital countdown is complete and the building explodes.

But, really, has Peter Dutton got what it takes to become our evil, supreme leader? The comic books and movies are full of villains who want to take over the world. So, how realistic are Peter Dutton's chances? Sure, he has the head and profile of Austin Powers' Doctor Evil and he's building a growing legion of Imperial storm-troopers to stand menacingly in the background at staged media events, but let's face it, the Minister for Immigration and Border Protection has the personality of a piece of wood.

In a rare, candid moment, Dutton conceded that he is a bit of a cold fish, but then pointed out:

“People never spoke about John Howard's charisma.”

Considering what's happened in Iraq, we're pretty sure the former Prime Minister failed in his attempted takeover of the world. In any event, when people look at John Howard they see a cardboard box.

When they look at Peter Dutton, a carton of cigarettes comes to mind. The plain packaging hints at something nasty and the contents are sure to harm you in the long run.

So, maybe as a conqueror of worlds, Peter Dutton will lead his minions into battle, turn to yell, “Charge!” and find they're all running the other way. In any case, books and movies are full of evil villains who are overthrown and defeated in the end.

A James Bond parody would reveal the evil nemesis as an absurdly, a flawed personality. He would lack empathy, not listen and have a foolishly, inflexible mind.

These same traits could be the undoing of Peter Dutton.

Read more from Jim Pembroke on his blog, or follow him on Twitter @Jim_Pembroke.

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