Satire

Cory Bernardi and the Common Sense Movement

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(Image via news.com.au)

Hello,

Please allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Cory and I am a Federal politician from Adelaide and I am a conservative. As you can see from this picture, I am reading a book.

This is not just any old book.

Neither is it a book written by liberal do-gooders or left-wing terrorists or Islamist Muslims. In fact, it is my book that I have just had published and contains lots of thoughts I have, which are all conservative thoughts.

Most of my thoughts are about things that the political left would rather I didn't think about. This is one of the reasons why the left hate me so much.

For example, in my book I write about a thought I once had in which I thought through something that made perfect sense. As a matter of fact, it was pure common sense.

Common sense is a corner-stone of conservative thinking — which is exactly why the political left hate conservatives such as myself.

In England, the conservative government of the day invented the 'House of Commons', where only common sense was allowed. An architect, Sir Christopher Wren, designed the 'Houses of Parliament' to go with the 'Commons'.

This is why the political left hate people such as myself.

I am so passionate about common sense I have created a movement which I urge you to donate large amounts of cash. It is called the Campaign for Common Sense and its purpose is to propagate the use of common sense and to promote healthy life-styles based around the ideals of common sense in a conservative world.

The more you donate the more the political left will hate me (and you).

My aim in life is to defend all those important things that made our great nation of ours so great — normal families that don't have any homosexuals or communists, economic freedom from world-wide jewry, and traditional values that the lefties want to dismantle and replace with a communistic state that uses brainwashing as a tool for recruiting new members and promoting fornication and abortions.

Common sense and banning fluoride from our water supplies will ultimately defeat the political left. That's why they hate me so much.

Common sense made me what I am today and it is also is why I am the founder and chairman of the Conservative Leadership Foundation. The CLF is non-secular and not politically aligned; however, to join us it is advisable that you are over 18, a conservative, despise the political left and generally dislike non-whites no matter what their colour, creed or religion. 

One last point to consider: if God had intended us to fornicate he would have made us fornicators.

I am not a fornicator and neither is my good friend Dr Wim Wenders from the 'Aryan Truncheon' movement of Holland. I mention this because Wim and I share many common sense ideas: interracial-marriage should be outlawed for non-whites and non-christians; jewish people should be allowed only $50 cash on their person at any one time, and single parents should be chemically castrated at birth — theirs, not their children.

Although, come to think of it ….

Wim and I also share a passion for healthy living through physical exercise and clean thoughts. 

Here is a photograph of me with a six pack and a healthy posture that all Christians should aspire to:

Notice, also, that I am facing the right.

All good people (no matter what the shade of white they are) should be facing the right — it's the common sense thing to do!

Thank you and good night.

Cory

Creative Commons Licence
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Australia License

(Image by John Graham / johngraham.alphalink.com.au)

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