The Beachcomber ‒ or Beachcomber, as he is usually known ‒ was born in the village of Purgatory-On-Phlegm in 1942 and again in 1953.
He had a troubled childhood, most notable for having acquired the bubonic plague on three occasions and declared a leper of the state on two.
At the age of 23 and 35, Beachcomber was exiled to the outer gulag known as Australia where he was declared medically unsound and his brain donated to the National Museum.
Beachcomber lists as his hobbies: collecting old Betty Grable photographs of old Betty Grable, chicken sexing and neo-renaissance dancing.
He leaves behind three devoted wives and between sixteen and nineteen children.
You can read more by The Beachcomber at www.i-am-a-camera.com.