Satire Fiction

ABC's 'left-wing bias' upsets conservatives

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David Speers of the ABC (image via YouTube)

Those who believe the ABC propagates extreme left-wing content live in an alternate universe, writes John Longhurst

MICK TOOK A generous sip, stepped back and sucked in a deep breath:

“It has gone downhill big time, Ron.”

Ron gritted his teeth and ran his hand across his mouth:

“Mick… you are not the kind of bloke that watches the ABC.”

They paused for a sip and Mick raised an eyebrow:

“Ron, Ron… Ron. I am parting with ten cents per day to fund the ABC. Of course I keep an eye on it.  However, I want some change back these days. Now, take the axing of The Drum.”

Bazza spluttered his schooner and his eyes widened:

Now before you start, Bazza, I watched the odd edition of The Drum just to keep a tab on some of your loony left mates. Now, I reckon it would not have been chopped if it was a bit more balanced. You see… I really could not see myself in most of the guests on the program. Now, I am not blowing my own trumpet, but someone like me, as a regular guest, would even things up.

Chuckles all around and Bazza shook his head:

Bloody hell, Mick, blokes like you are more than overrepresented in the media. A third of Australians are born overseas and more than half our population are women. I agree some of the guests were a bit out there but it was something different and touched on topics that often fly under the radar. In fact, over the past 12 months, I preferred it to the not-so-cleverly named 7.30 which follows the news.

Mick smiled:

"Crikey, Bazza. You’re not happy with your ten cents a day either? I actually watched it the other night with my grandson for a good story on mullet haircuts.”

Bazza squeezed his eyes:

All hard-hitting stuff, Mick. I mean there is mass killing in Gaza, war continuing to rage in Ukraine, a climate crisis unfolding daily and the antics of Donald Trump. Nah, Mick I am not happy with my ten cents a day being spent on stories about mullet haircuts. It’s supposed to be the ABC’s flagship current affairs program.

 

The ABC has become obsessed with not offending anybody in pursuit of a very tight definition of "balance". If one side of the argument refuses to appear on the ABC, the national broadcaster should have the ticker to run hard on the story regardless, and not be accused of bias.

"Know all Ron" cleared his throat:

You want to bring back a bit of political biffo, Bazza? You know, a couple of heavy hits at the start of the interview to soften them up, followed by a few verbal uppercuts and viewers on the edge of their lounges for the knockout question. Ah, remember the 1983 ‘Blood on Your Hands interview the ABC’s Richard Carleton conducted with newly elected Labor Party Leader, Bob Hawke?

"Know All Ron" paused and cracked his knuckles:

“I am with you for once, Bazza. I miss the biff.”

Bazza rubbed his forehead as Mick leaned in.

"Come on you blokes….lets finish these schooners so Bazza can get home and watch Antiques Roadshow.”

John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.

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