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Toadies rejoice, mummy is coming to town!

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The Queen and her politically incorrect – that is, bigoted – husband have announced they are now extending their Australian tour to 10 days — they’ll be here next month from the 19th to the 29th. Huzzah!

And forelock tuggers in Brisbane and Melbourne, it’s time to dust off the etiquette book, practice your curtsey and bow and start covering up the stars on your Australian flag — the tour is now coming to you. Aren't you the lucky little sychophants, what?

And in case you're new to Australia and are wondering why the hell Australians abase themselves and pay for the grandiose tours of a small cabal of ethnic Germans who usually reside in opulence, decadence and unimaginable luxury at taxpayers' expense in vast palaces and castles all around Britain...well, it’s because they're all, arguably, directly descended from someone called Sophia who lived in Hanover a few hundred years ago.

Best not to think too much about that — we certainly don’t!

Don't worry, join the fun. Remember to bow and scrape, boys and girls — just bow and scrape.



 
 
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