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Celebrating the 60th national yawn

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A handful of Melbourne Monarchists will sip tea and eat fairy cakes this week to celebrate the sixty years of the absent rule of the Australia head of state.

Official Melbourne, at the same time, will ignore the non-event — which meant something sixty years ago but which has now become a national yawn.

A character with the unlikely name of Bryan Stertern-Gill, who runs an outfit called “the Monarchist League in Australia’s Victorian chapter”, has been gushing that a great many Australians care about the Jubilee.

“I think she’s a wonderful woman she’s dedicated her life to the job and I have nothing but admiration for her a person and the manner in which she has carried out her duties,” he told The Age.

Melbourne’s serial contender for Liberal Party pre-selection, the ruddy faced Jason Ronald, is equally obsequious calling on everyone to toast the Queen — it’s a case of any excuse for a drink.

Says Ronald: “It’s hard to think of anyone else who has been in in the same job for sixty years and has carried it out with such grace and dignity.”


Ronald and Sterntern-Gill don’t actually say what Elizabeth II has actually done for Australia in that time.

They will not admit that sixteen visits in 60 years do not add to hard work for this country.

What’s their take, we wonder, on the fact that not one Australian official building, including the thousands of schools, display a picture of our absent unelected leader.

Or another fact: that new migrants swear allegiance to this country and not to a foreigner.

Not a mention that no Australian man, woman or child can aspire to the country’s job — that belongs to people who have not been born here and who must be direct descendants of an obscure German princess who died over three hundred years ago.

It is the surge of migrants to Australia  that has caused the lack of interest in the Queen and her dysfunctional family.

That ageing pair of royal serial adulterers – Charles and Camilla, the next king and queen of this country – will visit this nation to represent the Queen at some stage this year.

God alone knows what that jaunt will cost the taxpayer, but nothing will deter the Monarchists from working themselves into a right royal frenzy to fall over each other bowing and scraping to the ridiculous pair.

The best way for Australia to mark the anniversary of the Queen’s accession to the throne of England would be for us to declare a Republic and get ourselves a new flag — one which is not ambiguous like our current one.  
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