All aboard the Trump train

Pulled by a locomotive powered by misogyny, hate and retribution, this train will shortly leave democracy station, bound for fascism junction.

Here you can alight to verbally abuse anyone you want, but particularly Left-leaning progressives, homosexuals, females and immigrants, because you are “just saying” what everyone else is thinking, aren’t you?

But you don’t even have to participate. You can just listen to people like Nick Fuentes shout stuff at women like ‘Your body, my choice. Forever’ into a megaphone. After all, Nick is just saying what everyone is thinking when he thanks men for saving America ‘from stupid bitches who wanted to destroy the world to keep abortion’, right?

At fascism junction you can also magically make communities, collectives and co-ops go away, as unions evaporate and a minimum wage dissolves, all the time giving thanks to a God who advocates gun violence to your enemies and money for yourself (not peace, love and compassion as stated in the fake Bible).

Speaking of religion, you can also take in a talk by well-known Christian, Tucker Carlson. His highly recommended ‘How to keep yourself safe from demon attacks while you sleep at night’ is well worth considering.

Rigging, robbery and rich men's resources

Bazza gets the wrong end of the stick when Mick reacts to a recent election outcome.

But let us first enjoy the journey over the next four years.

And don’t worry, Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch will be joining you, but they are taking their private jet (just in case things change in the next four years and they and their Right-wing media enterprise need to change course accordingly).

There are seven cars on the Trump train, but you can only take your pick of six.

Because the first-class car is reserved for billionaires only. The conductor and ticket collector is Elon Musk and large compartments (not seats) are saved for Peter Thiel, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg, among others. In this first-class carriage, you can expect a comprehensive valet service, staffed by Latino immigrants, as well as generous serves of fine food and federal government contracts and tax breaks.

Look out for Steve Bannon who, while not yet a billionaire, believes he should be in this carriage because he invented QAnon and made millions of dollars from an online “build the wall” scam.

Look out, too, for the pillow-hugging, election-denier, Mike Lindell, who also believes he deserves a place in the first-class car. Alas, Lindell is a billionaire, but he is also a conspiracy theorist and therefore relegated to sit next to Sidney Powell and Rudy Guiliani in the second-class clown car. This second carriage is reserved for particularly stupid sycophants, masquerading as C or D-grade celebrities. Hulk Hogan is here.

The third carriage is for the evangelical, nationalistic, far-Right Christians. Do not enter this car unless you are one of them because, on the whole, they are not nice people — and most carry guns. They believe God is American and has anointed Trump to do his work.

They do not believe in climate change. To them, the unfolding climate crisis of rising sea levels, rapidly increasing global and oceanic temperatures, wildfires, famines, floods, droughts, tornados and life-threatening storms are not a sign of global warming. They are evidence of the biblical end-of-days apocalypse. This makes them very happy.

The fourth car is reserved for young, White, male-only computer geeks, nerds and hackers who spend the vast majority of their time online in darkened rooms. Dark web pages and internet forums like 8chan, violent, misogynist pornography and computer games involving lots of guns and other lethal weapons, graphic violence and machismo feature heavily here.

Trump Mark II: Chaos personified

The post mortem of this disaster will be long, bloody and it will stink like the rotting corpse of American democracy.

No real females are allowed in this car, despite the overwhelming incel cohort, who, according to Wikipedia: ‘define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one.’ Is it any wonder why?

Artificial intelligence renditions of young, compliant females who do not breathe, think or speak, but have very large breasts and not much clothing are, however, more than welcome. QAnon thrives here and these idiotic boy-babies truly believe that United States Democrats are Satan-worshipping, blood-drinking pedophiles who hang out in tunnels (and a pizza restaurant) in Washington DC.

The fifth car is for the true MAGA morons who believe well-paid, blue-collar jobs will return under Trump — despite the increasing globalisation evidenced across the last two decades. Often termed “the base”, these nut jobs’ gullibility knows no bounds. To them, everything Trump says is true; everything else is a lie or fake news.

The only thing rivalling their idiotic ideology is their pride.

So, when Trump uses and abuses them for his own inauguration and enrichment, gives tax breaks to his uber-wealthy family and friends at their expense and ratchets up the cost of everything via his hair-brained tariff program, watch them slink back silently to their – mostly rural – residences, still loyal to Trump, patiently waiting for the prosperity he promised — which never comes.

The sixth car is set aside for the new Americans who voted for Trump. This special kind of deluded demographic is aspirational and believes no immigrants should be allowed to live in the United States, despite the fact they (and their families) are immigrants living in the United States. They want the wall to be finished, now they are on the American side of it.

And finally, the seventh car is reserved for anyone else who supports Donald Trump. This includes, but is not limited to, narcists, nihilists, sociopaths, psychopaths, racists and misogynists who can’t find a berth in the other carriages. This also includes the disenfranchised and disengaged who did not vote and think a serial liar and criminal con-man who corruptly tries, but fails (like all his business ventures), to overturn a United States presidential election should be given another chance to do so.

Ticketing announcement: All those voters who supported Trump to “punish” the Democrats for their so-called backing of the Israeli genocide of Palestinians in Gaza have to walk. You are not true Trumpers and besides, while you walk, you will have time to take in the real horror unleashed on Gaza — as Israeli PM Netanyahu is given free rein by his bestie Trump to begin a new kind of destruction of the Palestinian people.