Satire Analysis

#7 TOP IA STORY OF 2020: Drop Bears feared extinct due to Australian bushfires

By | | comments |
The deadly dropbear (Image via Wikimedia Commons)

Much fauna perished in the bushfires that stripped the nation early in the year — and the fearsome dropbear was no exception. This troubling January article from Chris Richards received more than 25,000 unique visits.


Among the many animals perishing in the bushfire devastation is the iconic Australian Drop Bear, writes Chris Mordd Richards.

AT LEAST HALF A BILLION animals are presumed killed already from the massive fires burning in multiple parts of Australia currently. Among those feared now facing extinction is the lesser-known but highly feared Drop Bear, native only to Australia.

For those unfamiliar with the Drop Bear, the Australian Museum has some of the most accurate information collected to date on this fearsome mammal.

According to their records on it:

The Drop Bear legend tells of a large, arboreal, predatory marsupial related to the Koala that 'drops' on its prey. Drop Bears supposedly hunt by ambushing ground dwelling animals from above, waiting up to as much as four hours to make a surprise kill. Once prey is within view, the Drop Bear will drop as much as eight metres to pounce on top of the unsuspecting victim. The initial impact often stuns the prey, allowing it to be bitten on the neck and quickly subdued.

Many people claim that Drop Bears are not real or are fake news, including the notoriously unreliable website known as Wikipedia which tries to trick people with the following information:

‘A drop bear is a hoax in contemporary Australian folklore featuring a predatory, carnivorous version of the koala. This imaginary animal is commonly spoken about in tall tales designed to scare tourists.’

We would like to assure you though, dear reader, that like the Hoopsnake, Drop Bears are indeed very real. Any information suggesting Drop Bears are fake is put out by Tourism Australia in an attempt to stop the knowledge of these fearsome animals from affecting the vital tourism industry income.

Sadly, due to this misinformation campaign by Australia, the lack of awareness around Drop Bears, even in this country, has drastically hampered the rescue efforts of the few committed volunteers trying to save them from the fires.

Unlike the Hoopsnakes which were able to mostly roll away from the fires, the Drop Bears have likely been almost entirely wiped out. At this stage grave concerns are held that the entire population may have been lost already and lack of awareness of the Drop Bears' existence is hampering efforts to raise funds for their care.

Tourism Australia is rumoured to now be contemplating a new campaign, though, following the mass confusion over the current “Philausophy” campaign, which no one can even understand, let alone pronounce properly.

The new campaign will instead state that now the Drop Bears are all dead, Australia is finally a safe place to visit and holiday-goers can rest assured we don’t have any more dangerous animals that might attack tourists unaware or threaten their safety.

Some are now genuinely concerned, however, that the remaining dangerous threats to Australia including the Liberal National Party, One Nation, Right-wing nationalism and Summernats will now never be brought under control, with their only remaining predator being the Bunyip.

What is not well known is that it was the Drop Bears mostly keeping these other dangerous animals in check as part of our natural biodiversity; with the population wiped out, these other species may now be able to flourish free of other natural predators.

Only with your help, dear reader, can the remaining Drop Bears be saved, if any are left. Share this information with all your friends and family so they know the Drop Bears need our help to survive. Australia is counting on you!

You can follow Chris Mordd Richards on Twitter @Mordd_IndyMedia.

(Image by Chris Mordd Richards)

Support independent journalism Subscribe to IA.

Recent articles by Chris Mordd Richards
#7 TOP IA STORY OF 2020: Drop Bears feared extinct due to Australian bushfires

Much fauna perished in the bushfires that stripped the nation early in the year ...  
The Green wave that swept the 2020 A.C.T. Election

In a result almost none saw coming, the A.C.T. Greens have tripled their seat count ...  
A.C.T. Government announces intent for permanent pill testing site

The A.C.T. Greens have made a progressive move towards drug decriminalisation and ...  
Join the conversation
comments powered by Disqus

Support IAIndependent Australia

Subscribe to IA and investigate Australia today.

Close Subscribe Donate