No Kings: Why Australia needs its own republic movement

As millions march under the banner of ‘No Kings’ in the United States, it's time Australians took a fresh look at their own unelected head of state, writes GJ Burchall.

THERE IS ANOTHER No Kings protest organised for the American Republic next weekend.

The first, in June 2025, brought an estimated 5 million people onto the streets; 7 million in October 2025; 9 million in March 2026.

The largest citizen protests in U.S. history.

The demonstrations are to call out President Trump for trying to declaim like a demagogic Divine Ruler, super-supreme head-of-state, who claims sovereignty by clamping a leftover pageant tiara to his bizarre coif.

But in the Australian Free State, which sadly suffers under the real, awful deal, there's nary a whimper. Why are there no Aussie No Kings gatherings?

The state of a (not) independent Australia address

Fellow Independent Australians, it is with our greatest and most sincere regret that we must inform you that Australia is still not a fully and truly independent nation.

Lest we forget: Australia is just another piece of property-grab by this unelected “King” and his dysfunctional family. To dismiss this parasitic clan as cute and “ceremonial” is to forget that to one-third of Australians who have overseas birth or parentage, this “tradition” is totally alien.

It’s to forget that around one quarter of Australia’s land belongs to the tarnished “crown”.

Let Charles Chucklehead have Britain, if that is what he believes to be his due. Let him grift £132 million (AU$249.9 million) in projected “wages” this year, auction off the seabed around England, Wales and Northern Ireland for offshore wind rights, and draw rent from £1.5 billion (AU$2.8 billion) in property, while his Buckingham Palace residence is renovated at the public expense for another cool £369 million (AU$698.7 million).

The English are apparently jolly content with that. They had the chance and threw it. Fed up with the toffs, there was a popular uprising in 1649 and Charles the Original had his head lopped for the crime of high treason — not to mention being a “tyrant, traitor, murderer and public enemy”.

Inexplicably, after a civil war and a draconian turn by that fiend Oliver Cromwell, the forelock-tug British people chose to do an utterly bonkers thing and restore the monarchy, as if nothing had bloody happened, which it clearly, most bloodily had.

Thus, Charles the Headless’ son became Charles the Reboot, and the clubby clan kept a grip on the entitlement and land titles all the way down to the current incumbent, Charles the Second Sequel.

But, in Australia, people don’t take kindly to being lorded over. If they don’t like a leader, they are not shy about sending a helpful message. Consider the elections when enthroned prime ministers or opposition leaders have not only lost the vote, but their own seats.

Presumably for “high treason”.

No Kings: The republican debate Australia won’t have

While America rallies against tyranny, Australia stays silent under a foreign crown. It's time to reignite the republican debate.

Why not shuck the royals? Is it because they’re “inoffensive”? Is it because they don’t currently “hurt” and “oppress” as they did in Ireland, India, America, parts of Africa and countless other colonies?

But what about hurt pride? Should Australia be all “she’ll be right” about having a foreign head-of-state, which can (and has) dismissed an elected government? Can it be Olympics-proud when the flag hoisted is one-quarter dominated by the standard of another nation?

Even benign Canada put an end to that sort of guff with a great national flag. Wouldn’t it be grand to have a new Australian banner fly at the Brisbane Games?

Nothing will change, unless the Australian people want it to. There will be no war, no bloodshed, no nation-split-in-two. But it’s time to call “time”. Time to truly break free. Some half-wit politician once said: “We will talk about an Australian republic after Elizabeth 2.0 dies”. Then it was “after Charles the Tired Second Sequel is crowned”. And now? Wait until that weasel William ascends? It must stop.

Let the Poms play this medieval game, but not 21st-century Australia.

Look at how Chukka wants to have as many birthdays as he owns properties. His delivery date was in November, but he opts for June because the weather is better (for Britain!) — but for most of the Australian colonies, June is the coldest, wettest month of the year. Western Australia and Queensland opt for September and October, respectively (respectfully?).

Can Australia have an alternate public holiday for Independence Day? Wouldn’t that be something?

Will someone please organise a No Kings protest for Australia? The numbers will not be as high as those in the U.S., but have the potential to be bigger than any Neo-Nazi, anti-immigration, or First Nation rally.

Get mad. Spread the message. Look at smoking. Everybody just about now has the message about puffing in public. So let all those old ‘No Smoking’ signs be re-purposed. Simply strike out the ‘Smo’ and you’ve got a big bunch of ready-made ‘No King’ placards.

Take them to the streets. It is about reason, not treason.