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Some people thought the USSR collapsed in 1991, but not Eric Abetz...

Dear Senator Abetz,

First of all, I would like to commend you for alerting the public to the “ultra-left wing agenda” (your words) of activist group GetUp!

If not for your diligent investigations, a vast number of Australians would be unaware GetUp! had, in 2006, received $10,000 from a group linked to the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics — the "Australia-USSR Friendship Association".

In fact, given the all-too-common view these days that the Soviet Union collapsed and disintegrated in 1991, many may be a little surprised to find the “evil empire” (Reagan’s words, not yours, though I bet you mutter them a lot under your breath) is still around. Which it clearly is. No doubt, the dissemination of George Soros-funded Marxist propaganda via the ABC has lulled unwary Australians into believing it no longer exists.

If not for you, many honest, hard-working Australian men and women would be completely oblivious to the dangers those Stalinists at GetUp! and their despicable Russian paymasters pose to the very fabric of our society.

On behalf of all Australians, I would like to thank you for your tireless efforts to protect us from the KGB. Well done, Senator Abetz! Australia hasn’t seen a patriot like you since that other great senator from the 1950s, Joe McCarthy.

What concerns me now is whether there are other traitors in our midst. For instance, noting GetUp! has received funding from a New Zealand power company, it is clear they played a part in that sinister conspiracy between the NZ Labour Party, Bill Shorten, the CFMEU and Communist China to bring down Barnaby Joyce and the Turnbull Government. I look forward with intense anticipation to further exposés from you regarding this fiendish plot.

Also, in the interest of public safety, would you please confirm if your investigations have revealed if GetUp! is receiving assistance from any other groups linked to bloody empires, revolutionary organisations or tyrannical despots.

For instance, can you please confirm whether, since being established in 2006, GetUp! has received funds from the:

  • Friends of the Viet Kong
  • Friends of the Mau Mau Revolt
  • Friends of the Ottoman Empire
  • Friends of the Sufragettes
  • Friends of Napoleon Bonaparte
  • Friends of the First French Republic
  • Friends of the Abolitionist Movement
  • Friends of the Persian Empire
  • Friends of the Roman Empire
  • Friends of the Macedonian Empire
  • Friends of the Han Dynasty
  • Friends of the Hittites
  • Friends of Akhenaten

Also, just for completeness, considering your Great-Uncle Otto Abetz was a high ranking official in the German Nazi Party during World War II, can you please confirm whether the Friends of the Third Reich have donated to the Liberal Party? It seems the least they could do, given all your tireless efforts combatting Communism.

And never stop these efforts, Eric. We recognise your deep desire to protect us all from our foes — large or small, current or historical, real or existing only in your head. Your work provides immense joy, satisfaction and endless amusement to countless of your fellow Australians. We hope you never tire of it.

Yours in eternal gratitude,

DD

You can follow managing editor Dave Donovan on Twitter @davrosz. Maoist infiltrators may join or donate to GetUp! HERE.

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