Liberals march on Poleland

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(Image via @JohnGraham)

With the Liberal dream of global domination in tatters after fierce resistance in the North and the South, they have now drawn up audacious plans to strike back in Poleland. Ross Jones reports.

The Liberal dream of Drivingroom in the East is in tatters due to fierce partisan resistance in the northern and southern sectors.

The Victorian and Queensland fronts collapsed spectacularly. Now, in NSW, the Liberals have drawn up a plan to attack — the Poles!

Just think of the Drivingroom that could be had from this little venture.

It has other advantages too. 

In just a few short years, say 15 to 20, Westconnex will hold unprecedented numbers of commuters captive to Alan Jones, whose broadcasts, much like those of John Meillon (VB), will be replayed on endless loop long after his death, or an ageing Kyle and Jackie O rabbiting-on about their grandchildren. Or worse, an impaired Ray Hadley.

What am I talking about again?

Captive propaganda.

Also, in much the same way a castellated church or the Tower of London projected Norman power to the locals, a well-placed exhaust stack can let everyone know who is boss. Especially to those latte-sipping inner-suburbs types in Newtown and St Peters.

The Colossi of Roads.

The desire to build roads in NSW is driven by a shadowy bureaucracy hidebound by its own lexicon. And contractors.

You’ve read the formula — motorists will avoid (x) traffic lights, save (y) fuel and cut commute times by (z). It can be appealing in an algebraic kind of way except it ignores the more modern mathematical concept of Catastrophe.

Build it and they will come.

So, how fare the partisans resisting the annexation of Poleland?

Badly, say the pundits. And, on the face of it, who could disagree?

A middle-aged couple standing in their front yard with a NoWestConnex poster or a red-soil-blasted farmer waving a No CSG sign can’t stand between the Force and power. No way.

The polls don’t lie. Unless they are wrong.

Which they have been. Just ask Bob.

The voters of Poleland face not only the grey-suited Liberal Marshals, but Rupert at his best. How funny is it to deride Labor leader Luke Foley as Luke Foliage because he thinks national parks might be a good idea?

In the surgical way all News outlets set out to destroy Rupert’s perceived opponents, the Tele went photoshop. Slipper was a rat, Foley depicted as a koala the colour of a very angry Hulk. That News thought this depiction would advance its cause says everything you need to know about NSW politics. And that is crap v crap.

Baird is a blue-tie-wearing Abbott mini-me. He can distance himself from OTT all he likes, but no-one would wear that tie without signing up to the nastiness it has come to signify.

Foley is Who? Where is the message? Clowns. A Traitor’s nest.

Readers of a certain age will recall the Disney dystopian vision of Goofy driving endlessly around freeway fly-overs and interchanges. There were no B-Doubles then.

The original John Graham image featured in this piece is available from the IA online store.

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