Eddie Obeid's right testicle emerges

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With Ian Macdonald being exposed as Eddie Obeid's left testicle, Eddie's right testicle comes out to spill the beans.

by contributing editor-at-large Tess Lawrence
by contributing editor-at-large Tess Lawrence

G'DAY COMRADES. I don't mind telling you that I'm a bit miffed by the proletariat who get up themselves and on my goat at times.

I'm Eddie Obeid's Right Testicle.

You might have heard of my lesser half, Ian Macdonald, better known as 'Eddie Obeid's Left Testicle' and former NSW Minister of Mining for Mates.

Not that Macca, or anyone else, would ever think of him as a horn bag. He's got a head on him like a sheep's bladder turned outside in. Not a pretty sight. No offence to sheep.

He's not as well hung as myself, mind you, and unlike me, he's virtually hairless (I take after the Leb side of the family) but nonetheless he still copped a manly mention at the Independent Commission Against Corruption in Sydney yesterday.

It's a bit rich, given that fast Eddie famously dresses to the Right. From the current investigations section of ICAC:

Eddie Obeid's Left Testicle. (Image courtesy ABC).

The ICAC is investigating, among other issues, the circumstances surrounding a decision made in 2008 by the then Minister for Primary Industries and Minister for Mineral Resources, the Hon Ian Macdonald MLC, to open a mining area in the Bylong Valley for coal exploration, including whether the decision was influenced by the Hon Edward Obeid MLC (Operation Jasper).

The Commission is also investigating, among other issues, the circumstances surrounding the issue of an invitation to Doyles Creek Pty Ltd to apply for, and allocation of, an exploration licence (Operation Acacia).

Further, the ICAC is investigating the circumstances in which Moses Obeid provided the Hon Eric Roozendaal MLC with a motor vehicle in 2007 (Operation Indus).

Mate, I can't say too much for obvious reasons. I don't want to be accused of any premature ejaculations that might undermine the inquiry. Not that there is such a thing as undermining in NSW Labor ranks. Oink oink. Nudge nudge.

Richard Torbay (Image courtesy Fairfax Media.)

Even as I'm scribbling this, in comes breaking news from the ABC alerting us that ICAC officers searched former Northern Tablelands MP Richard Torbay's Armidale home today. It's on Matey.

Mate, I'm very attached to Eddie. He's our only visible means of support. He's a great mate, mate.

Both me and Left Testicle have worked hard to churn out the Right stuff and working in a bi-partisan coalition.

We've got a few runs on the board and without our help there's no way that Eddie would have fathered nine children and several of his sons have recently been on view giving colourful evidence at ICAC, so you know we produce quality as well as quantity, as you would expect from a Catholic and former altar boy.

Eddie's always been upwardly motile, despite the spurn count from some of his former mates now giving unfavourable evidence against him.

Eddie Obeid

Mate, I hope Eddie never has to give back his 1984 Medal of the Order of Australia that he was awarded for services to ethnic welfare.

And mate, he got the gong a year before he was appointed to the Board of Governors of the Law Foundation of New South Wales. Nice one Eddie.

And nice one Macca, mate. I can't think of a better Left Testicle that I'd like to share Eddie's boxers with.

Onya Macca. And onya mate for not giving away the identity of Eddie's Right Testicle. You're a real mate, mate.

We built this city.

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