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A thesis could be written on the Liberal Party and their definition of, and relationship to, the concept of "crime".

It would seem that crime is what the Labor Party do, and the "Green extremists", but never the Liberal Party.

If it occurs on the Liberals’ watch, it’s not a crime, it’s an "administrative glitch", or an "organisational anomaly".

A Somalian woman raped and made pregnant on Nauru wants to be aborted in Australia, and Dutton, of course, won’t let her. There’s no thought of arresting and punishing the rapist, this is an administrative anomaly only, not a crime; what happens on Nauru, stays on Nauru.

Nor was it a crime for two white persons to have killed Reza Barati, or assisted in his killing, it was an administrative malfunction. So were the sixty other injuries – a throat cut, an eye blinded, a number of heads bashed in with iron bars – on Manus Island and the cyberbullying by Morrison ("You will never live in Australia") that provoked it. Nor were Morrison’s several acts of piracy, kidnap, child abuse and people smuggling. It is never a crime if a Liberal does it, or allows it. But it is a crime if Shorten, say, fails to note a receipt of moneys as part of a deal between a union and a businessman. Though there is no law against it, that is a crime.

Their moral bankruptcy is quite startling and rivals that of the administrators of Abu Ghraib and Gitmo. Rapes and murders, forced whorings and buggered children are fine with them — these are, after all, the responsibility of PNG and Nauru, though Nauru is now a criminal dictatorship we give hundreds of millions to and we have no influence over the way they dispense just, or evade its dispensation. That is in another country, they do things differently there and good on them.

This applies to Damien Mantach also, who, although he stole $1.5 million, is not a criminal, just an administrative malfunction, whereas Craig Thomson, who misused $3,500 (firewood, cigarettes) and offered to give it back, was a major criminal whose vote on the floor of the House should be rejected by the Speaker and his constituents disfranchised.

Murder, kidnap, people smuggling, torture. This is part of the Liberals’ modus operandi and therefore above criticism. But Peter Slipper misspending $900 – which he offered to give back – on a winetasting tour in a cab is a villainous crime, a disgusting iniquity beyond all human revulsion, repellent enough to end his career.

Malcolm Turnbull, a man of keen conscience – as his defence of Gillian Triggs, Bill Henson and Peter Wright showed – ought to look into this awful habit of mind among his adopted party. He should expel Dutton from the party for starters, then end the hydrophobic pirate Morrison’s tenure in the office of Treasurer.

Or perhaps you disagree.

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