Satire Fiction

We should all embrace the Taylor Swift fever

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Taylor Swift is selling out Australian arenas (image by Eva Rinaldi via Wikimedia Commons)

It's all about Taylor Swift, writes John Longhurst.

"TAY TAY, Bazza… It’s all about Tay Tay, Bazza.”

Mick landed the schooners as Bazza raised both eyebrows:

“Taylor Smith, Bazza. Three sellout concerts of 96,000 fans in Melbourne and now onto Sydney. Her boyfriend’s arrival in Sydney even warrants front page news.”

Bazza took a long sip:

“Ahhh… yeah, Mick, it is hard to miss… I am a bit disappointed in it all though.”

Mick’s eyes widened and Bazza ran a hand across his mouth to conceal a smile:

All this gooey good girl stuff, Mick. What’s happened to the traditional rockstar tour? Where is the scandal? In years gone by, a touring rockstar’s antics would way surpass an NRL Mad Monday or, way back whenever, a second rower’s night out at the Bourbon and Beefsteak at Kings Cross.

Mick scratched his head:

“And groupies, Mick… where are the groupies trying to climb through hotel windows and police… lots of police, with over-zealous crowd control? It is all too tame for me.”

Mick shook his head and took a sip:

Not to mention drug-fuelled sex parties with conservative commentators screeching ‘Danger Danger, Danger’. Nah… Tay Tay falls short on all the key performance indicators of being a rockstar. My goodness… she is still sober at the end of her concerts. There is no smashing of guitars or wrecking of hotel rooms. She should be locked up for too much good behaviour. Now…Whitney Houston or Jim Morrison from the Doors would be rolling in their early graves at this faux rockstar’s Errors Tour. In fact, she has a good chance of making it to middle age.


Mick eyeballed Bazza:

“What are you on about, Bazza? Are you saying they should be sharing a joint rather than a friendship bracelet at a Taylor Swift concert? You are an ageing hippie.”

Bazza smiled, looked skywards and took a considered sip:

In the old days, Mick… good rock stars would attract the young to the edge of society, to the consternation of parents. They would throw up lyrics and, indeed behaviours, that were very challenging and even confronting to the mainstream. I am not ticking off on all those behaviours but Tay Tay is doing a good job of attracting the young to the centre of society, so it is all very safe and reinforces the status quo. In fact, I reckon if my mum was alive she would even like her.

Mick leaned in:

“I think you should lower your voice if you are saying you are not in the Tay Tay friendship group, Bazza.”

Bazza’s eyes widened and they both took a long sip.

A pause. He said:

“Hey Bazza… do you ever wonder why I am the only person who shares a drink with you in this pub?”

John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.

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