Two mates discuss the Perrottet, and other, costume scandals

Two mates discuss the Dominic Perrottet revelations and the history of men behaving badly.

MICK MADE his way through the front bar and out to the beer garden. Bazza had secured the favoured table under the big gum tree and enjoyed the late afternoon sun with his eyes half closed.

An Elvis Presley impersonator, who missed the train to Parkes, began his cover of ‘All Shook Up'.

“Found you, Bazza… deep in thought in the beer garden eh?”

Bazza stirred and smiled.“I’m not sure why they call it a beer garden, Mick… it’s not as if they grow any beer here.”

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Mick opted for a shake of the head rather than a chuckle and they both took generous sips:

Ahhhhh… we have to make the most of these endless summer days, Mick. I’ve had to reconfigure the alarm clock so it reminds me of the week day rather than the time. My wife had to remind me it was Friday so you are lucky I’m here. January seems to be divided between the cricket or the tennis.

Or more likely, the fridge or the couch, Bazza, anyhow, the Premier seems to be in a bit of strife, dressing up in a Nazi uniform at his 21st birthday party.

The Elvis impersonator had the odd couple up and dancing as he leaned into the microphone with:

"Oh, well, my hands are shaky and my knees are weak.

I can't seem to stand on my own two feet.

Who do you thank when you have such luck?"

Bazza leaned back and sighed: “Yeah, I did read that, Mick, but I don’t buy the excuse you know little about Nazi Germany and the Holocaust by the age of 21. I reckon I would have watched The Sound of Music 50 times before I left primary school and then gained a deeper understanding at high school. He must have either been asleep at school or there is something wrong with the education system he now presides over.”

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“He did seem genuinely sorry at the press conference, Bazza.”

Bazza took a long sip:

“No doubt about that, Mick, just like your mate, Prince Harry, who did something similar in 2005.”

Mick screwed his eyes: “I’ve never really been into fancy dress parties, Mick, but if you must do it; choose someone that is not divisive or controversial. Choose a unifying figure whose life is guided by empathy, responsibility, respect, integrity and compassion. Put a fancy dress on those qualities and it can still be fun.”

A long silence.

“Agreed for once, Bazza. Who would you have in mind?”

Bazza pursed his lips:

“Ahhhhh, I don’t know, Mick, maybe a Cardinal.”

John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.