Time Person of which year?

Bazza and Mick have a chinwag over a beer about Trump's first days back in the Oval Office and the new era's uncanny parallels with history, writes John Longhurst.

MICK SLAMMED down the empty schooner glass and glared at Bazza.

Let’s just call it a big ‘woke up call’ for the likes of you, Bazza. The Donald is ensuring we are entering the golden age of being a bloke. No more choosing a letter of the alphabet to define sexuality and I quote the great man... 'As of today, it will henceforth be the official policy of the United States Government that there are only two genders – male and female'...

I am choosing to be a bloke and I cannot wait for more bloke stuff once Dutts knocks off Albo.

Bazza pinched his forehead and raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t get to choose, Mick. The definition will be based on whether people are born to the sex that produces eggs for females or sperm for males, rather than the gender they identify with. Anyone not identifying as a male or female is well… marginalised.”

Mick blinked repeatedly.

“Well… whatever, Bazza. I’m happy being a bloke. I think it all got out of hand with that movie 'Barbie', you tricked me into watching a year or two ago. The character Ken did not advance the bloke cause. We will not be seeing the likes of those movies anymore.”

Bazza raised both eyebrows.

Well you see, Bazza… the Donald has appointed Sylvester Stallone, Jon Voight and our very own Mel Gibson as special ambassadors to Hollywood. There will not be a ‘Ken’ in sight with the return of the blockbuster action movie with plenty of car chases, shooting and, unlike ‘Barbie’, the lead female will always fall head over heels in love with the lead bloke.

I tell you, Bazza… ‘blokeism’ is back big time… and in time, it will be 'move on Taylor Swift and welcome back Guns N' Roses, Black Sabbath and AC/DC. We are entering the golden age of being a bloke.'

Bazza motioned to speak.

Ahh…. hold on there, Bazza. It gets better. We now have real blokes running the world with Putin running Russia, Xi Jinping in China, Netanyahu in Israel and, of course, the Donald in the USA. Once Dutts takes over, I will be a happy camper and relaxed about the future. In fact, I reckon you would have to go all the way back to the 1950’s to be this comfortable being a bloke.

Bazza finished his schooner and sighed.

“Nah… Mick… more parallels with the 1930’s. That decade started with the Great Depression and this decade began with the COVID-19 pandemic. Some pretty crazy bloke leadership followed the Great Depression beginning with the marginalising of minorities, manipulation of media and now… well.”

Mick tapped his empty schooner glass.

“Don’t be such a pessimist, Bazza… I need to remind you that the Donald was Time Magazine Person of the Year for 2024, so have a bit more faith.”

Bazza collected the empty schooner glasses and turned as he made his way to the bar.

“Yeah… about as much faith in Time Magazine Man of the Year for 1938.”

John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.