Our patriarchal society has allowed men to get away with many things that would tarnish a woman's reputation, writes John Longhurst.
BAZZA RUBBED his chin and leaned back as Shirley paused for a sip of her Sauvignon Blanc:
“So, Shirl, you’re saying the same behaviours exhibited by men and women are labelled differently. I will have to have a think about that one.”
A rowdy conversation at the next bar table piqued their interest.
A red-faced male patron was frothing at the mouth with arms flailing. He continually shook his head as he outlined the woes of the South Sydney Rabbitohs, from the sacking of the coach to the indifferent form of Latrell Mitchell. He shot down any dissent with personal barbs, pausing only for a sip of his schooner to fuel his recovery plan tirade for next season.
Bazza took a sip and let out a deep breath:
“Crikey, Dave is passionate about the Rabbitohs, Shirl.”
Shirley ran a hand through her grey hair and rubbed her forehead:
“Ahhh, Bazza. Now, if it was me carrying on like that, discussing the form of the St George Dragons, I would more than likely be labelled hysterical, aggressive, shrill, emotional, unhinged and perhaps even irrational. Where Dave is seen to be leading a discussion, I would be accused of ‘having a rave’ or an outburst. Without doubt, you blokes would be saying ‘calm down, dear’ or ‘take a chill pill, love’.”
Bazza had a chuckle and rubbed an eye:
“Okay, I take your point, Shirl. I do accuse my wife of complicating matters and being illogical at times but I would never accuse Mick of being anything but straightforward.”
A pause as they scanned the bar before their eyes rested on a grey-bearded patron sipping red wine and reading a book by the window.
Shirley leaned in:
“Now Bazza, take Old Jack by the window. He regularly comes in and reads poetry or some award-winning novel. He is quirky, highly intelligent and outspoken — often to the annoyance of others. He is often referred to as a ‘bearded intellectual’, ‘cerebral’ and even ‘the pub’s Einstein’.”
Shirley paused for a sip and lowered her voice:
“Now, let’s be truthful, Bazza. If Old Jack was a woman, she would be labelled ‘eccentric’, ‘too opinionated’, ‘assertive’, ‘complex’ or even ‘our resident Bea Miles’.”
Mick approached the bar table, scrolling through his phone:
“Hey there, Bazza, having a beer without me? I will get another round.”
He was about to turn around when Shirley stage coughed.
Mick said:
“Oh, g’day Shirley. I didn’t see you there. I will shout you a drink as well.”
Bazza’s eyes widened as Mick swivelled:
“Next topic, Bazza, is the invisible older woman, or the IOW. It’s amazing to think you spend your whole life achieving a childhood fantasy of making yourself invisible.”
Bazza rubbed his chin as Mick approached with drinks.
Shirley said:
“As blokes age, Bazza, you are described as distinguished, experienced, wise, seasoned or even venerable.”
Mick grinned widely as he landed the drinks:
“You might be a bit opinionated, Shirley, but you do throw a nice compliment.”
John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.
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