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(Meme by @davrosz / Image via toni mclee ‏/ @mcleetonii)

Sussan Ley's resignation proves socialism is on the march and the peasants are revolting! Managing editor David Donovan reports on these latest alarming attacks on important people with loads of money and excellent connections.

"Socialism is on the march!"

That’s what former Speaker Bronwyn Bishop said on Sky News this week and, though it might be unpopular to say so, I think she’s right.

This is a dark period for our nation. It is a time when all of us with lots of money and excellent connections must stand together and fight for all that we are so rightfully entitled.

Oh I know it’s fashionable these days to criticise the Turnbull Government for cracking down on payments made to poor people, while it at the same time takes a far more laissez faire approach to Coalition MPs' genuine and worthwhile entitlements — however I’m not one of those greasy, irksome Communists. As we all know, payments made to poor people are utterly unproductive and should be strictly limited, if not removed altogether, whereas payments made to hardworking conservative MPs are an investment in the future of our great and glorious nation — Australia Incorporated.

Let’s be quite clear about this: Coalition MPs have an extremely difficult and demanding job to do. Not only do they have to attend occasional caucus meetings with Cory Bernardi, Peter Dutton and George Christensen, but they also need to sit in Parliament for up to 18 weeks a year. That’s right, 18 four day weeks in a single calendar year! Why, that’s very nearly a part-time job.

Not only that, but if you happen to be a Government minister, you need to do other backbreaking work even on top of that gruelling schedule. Such as attending glamorous working New Years’ Eve parties on the Gold Coast, or at Kirribilli House in Sydney. Or being sent to receive directions from bank executives at the AFL grand final in Melbourne. Yes, MPs are working hard for us at these high profile events all year long. Kicking up their heels at expensive soirees with the rich and famous when they could be at home putting their feet up and relaxing. And what sort of thanks do they get from the ungrateful hoi polloi? Brickbats and condemnation, that’s what.

Does the average person know how hard it is to conduct ministerial business balancing on high heels in a crowded Surfers Paradise penthouse carrying a full glass of Louis Roederer, whilst simultaneously jostling for position on an upper balcony in a valiant attempt to catch the midnight fireworks? I very much doubt it. Does the general public know how difficult it is to try to maintain an unwavering focus on policy development in the last quarter of a tight footy grand final with a gut full of Crown Lager when you are also trying to snare the last king prawn to be found anywhere in the corporate box? These are the sort of sacrifices our tireless – yet very often "tired and emotional" – Turnbull ministers make on a daily basis to ensure Australia has the very best government money can buy.

It is, of course, the issue du jour to attack outgoing Health and Sports Minister Sussan Ley — just like it is the "pack of dogs" mentality of socialists that caused the tawdry and sensationalist witchhunt that led to her saddening and completely unnecessary resignation from Federal Cabinet today.

All because of her harmless purchase of a luxury Gold Coast apartment whilst on some sort of vague "official business" in the area. And spending 37 taxpayer funded nights on the Gold Coast since 2013, despite her electorate being located in southern NSW. Oh and, I guess, also for continually chartering expensive private planes and flying them all over the country herself instead of taking commercial flights like everybody else. Well, so what if she did do these things? I'd put to you that it was all in the course of pursuing Government policy and, so, well within her rightful entitlements.

While some people might see a minister flying to Brisbane to make a policy announcement that could have been made absolutely anywhere, then taking an 80 minute drive to apparently meet some unnamed “stakeholders”, dropping into the auction of a major LNP donor’s luxury beachside flat and then unexpectedly purchasing it on a sudden whim as maybe being a tad suspicious, if not obviously corrupt, I see it as yet another example of the hard work, ingenuity and strong team ethic of the Turnbull Cabinet.

Firstly, why should Sussan Ley be forced to be lazy and take a commercial flight? Someone has to fly the plane, so it may as well be a minister who needs to make three flights every 90 days to keep her commercial pilot’s licence. Shouldn’t we be encouraging and applauding highly skilled women working in male dominated professions? As for the apartment, well, Sussan had been looking for a Gold Coast property for years! Probably because her partner owns a bin cleaning franchise there and, as we all know, the Turnbull Government does strongly support small business. And do people realise how difficult it is to come up with new reasons to visit the Gold Coast on "official business" every other week? I mean, aren’t we meant to be in the business of encouraging ingenuity and innovation? Lastly, this purchase is just one of the many ways the Turnbull Government is helping to stimulate the Gold Coast property market, while at the same time demonstrating its strong support for negative gearing — a policy that has come under fierce attack from those red flag waving Trotskyites in the Australian Labor Party in recent times.

Taking all these factors into account, it is absurd Sussan Ley felt the need to resign today. If anything, for her clear commitment to such a wide range of Turnbull Government policy positions, she should have been promoted.

And moreover, these are the same grubby socialists who are now attacking those fine ministers Porter and Tudge for trying to claw back some of the billions being wasted by the Government on old people, cripples, single mothers, druggies and ne'er do wells. Condemning these fine public servants for quite correctly saying the system was working “exactly as intended”, despite Centrelink cheerfully sending out hundreds of thousands of false claim letters over Christmas and following them up with scary, pitiless debt collectors.

Hello! If critics can’t see that a system that sends out fake debt letters, scares the living bejesus out of people over Christmas when their minds are on other things and then sends the boys around after 21 days if they don’t immediately cough up the cash is going to raise a lot more money than sending out accurate and non-fraudulent letters, then I think they’re living in La La Land. The Government has a debt problem, so the more it can scrape back from the old, slow, lame, poor and sick, the more there will be for the people who work to keep the economy humming, like big business and billionaires. Of course the Centrelink system is working as intended. It’s an absolute bloody work of genius.

So I’m with outstanding former Speaker Bronwyn Bishop when she said “socialism is on the march”. And when we say socialism, what we mean is poor people and those without any useful connections. Handouts to rich and important people cannot be socialism because they are investments in free enterprise. And, as we all know, free enterprise never comes cheap. Recent attacks on corporate tax cuts, offshore tax havens and multinational tax avoidance all show how anti-business this country is fast becoming and the serious threat socialism poses to us all. Well, to all of us rich people, anyway.

We have come to a dangerous pass. Now we even have the media and the “Twitterati” attacking hard working Government ministers simply for showing a little entrepreneurial spirit. At the same time, those hemp-wearing Marxists are sticking up for no-name welfare recipients, who seldom if ever invest their government handouts in anything productive, typically wasting their money on frivolous trifles such as food and medicine.

Yes indeed, Bronwyn, socialism is on the march. And it will be hard to stop because, as you know better than anyone, fascism always flies first class.

You can follow managing editor Dave Donovan on Twitter @davrosz.

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