POEM: The skunk

This poem is an *IA Writing Competition (creative work category) entry.

The skunk

On her way to work one morning
While passing by a sump,
A tender-hearted woman
Spied a freezing orange skunk.

Take me in, oh tender woman
Save me from this frozen dump
You'll be very well rewarded
I'm the famous Donald Trump!

His orange hair was nearly frozen
And dripping now with dew.
Oh dear, she cried, I'll save your hide
I'll take good care of you!

But there is just one thing
Before you come in,
I have often heard tell
Of your awful bad smell
That can drop a man down at ten paces.
If I take you inside
And for you provide
You'll vow not to emit
A foul smell from your hide?
And not fill my home with your faeces?

Please save me Trump cried
I'm convicted of crimes
That will see me do time
By a Judge who's conflicted
And covered in slime!

But my word is my bond
Get me out of this pond
And I promise to do you no harm.

In fact, I predict
Said the skunk with a wink
That soon you'll fall prey
To my glorious charm!

So she wrapped him up all cosy
In a scarf of pure silk,
And laid him by her fire
With some money on a quilt.

When she hurried home that evening
She found with pleased surprise,
That the frozen orange skunk
Named Trump still lived
And was revived.

All her money was gone,
Her cupboards were bare.
Used hamburger wrappers were
Strewn everywhere,
And the skunk, now well-fed,
Reclined on her bed
And invited her over to share.

Trump raised his rear a little
And said with leering smile
Come hither tender woman
Come lie with me a while.

You are so beautiful she sighed
As she lay down by his side,
But as she stroked his
Glowing orange fur
And clasped him to her heart,
The smiling orange turd let fly
A putrid stinking fart!

You lied, you lied, the woman cried
And lept up with a shriek.
Her eyes were red and weeping
As she struggled to her feet.

To think I thought you were so smart
But you had other plans.
You lied to me right from the start
To suit your slimy scams!

You've taken all my savings
And left me naught on which to sup.
And it will take me a week to
To be rid of this reek
Your time with me here is now up!

Begone, you lying thieving skunk
Return to your own lair.
And don't come back and ask for more
Or I'll call the cops I swear!

Oh tender-hearted woman
You're just another fool.
You knew my reputation
For telling lies and being cruel.

I must bid you adieu
I've revenge to see through
On all who have called me insane.

But you've nothing to fear
Donald said with a sneer
If you vow not to smear
My great name.

I'll be POTUS, you see
And if you don't vote for me
The U.S. will go up in flames!

As he stepped through the door
He emitted a roar
As he fell with a thud
Into a puddle of mud
That coated his rug in foul gore.

How dare you he barked
With stark fear from the dark
There could have been sharks in here!

Which alerted his guards
Who'd at last found their charge
And they led him away from her door.

Donald turned with a fart
That would surely kill sharks
And left to be seen never more.

Ann Meharg loves the English language (which is just as well because she can speak no other), loves to make people laugh and loves writing verse when inspired.

* Full IA Writing Competition details HERE.