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Thank you, Mr Hockey

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Joe Hockey drives home after a tough week at work.

We owe Mr Hockey an apology, says ᴁrchie from rchie's Archive — he was right about poor people.

I need to apologise to you, Mr Hockey.

Like so many other Australians, I was upset by your remarks about the fuel tax and how we poor people pay so little of it.

Then I realised you were correct!

So many of us poor people drive small, four cylinder cars, which use such small amounts of fuel. It is probably this selfish attitude which led to the closure of Ford and Holden and Toyota.

We poor people are to blame for so much of what is wrong with our AAA economy.

Some of us are even unemployed and expect to be able to use some of our dole payment for food instead of fuel for our cars.

Having a car means we do not need other accommodation, as we can sleep in the car and eat at the Golden Arches instead of cooking. But that will allow us to do a little bit more of the heavy lifting and pay extra fuel tax.

Then, yesterday, I saw your car parked in a disabled bay.

Well, I didn’t actually see you. I was walking through Harvey Norman’s looking at the electronic things I do not deserve and I spotted a Channel Nine segment which showed you beside your parked vehicle which was clearly sitting over a disabled sign.

Again I felt an initial outrage because I know of people who actually need those parking bays. Then I thought about it and realised that you are teaching us a lesson.

The disabled are an unnecessary burden on the taxpayer’s dollar. There is no way they should be travelling around our shopping centres and CBD’s. If they are truly disabled they should be at home suffering with the traditional Australian stiff upper lip. Not out where everyone can see them.

What I hadn’t realised, until you so eloquently showed us, is that those disabled people who are out and about should be employed productively. Not stealing parking bays which can be usefully filled with important people’s cars.

I went to sleep last night feeling very silly about doubting your motives and the correctness of your decisions as Treasurer.

This morning I woke with another insight into your long term economic strategy for Australia’s poor people.

We poor people do not pay enough tax on our meagre incomes and so we are the ones who should be paying 50% or 60% income tax. We must become lifters and stop leaning on those unfortunate rich people who have, in the past, carried us.

I shall be among the first to cheer your intelligent and clever budgetary measures, which rightfully target us poor people.

We must learn our place if our betters are to live the lifestyle they have inherited or stolen.

[Knuckles forelock, bows and backs away with added cringe.]

This story was originally published on ᴁrchies Archive and has been republished with permission.

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