Cashed out

It looks as if Senator Michaelia Cash's political career is coming to a screeching halt. Steve Atyre reports.

Senate Estimates hearings in Canberra, intended to actually find out if taxpayer money is being spent efficiently, effectively and ethically, has gone gangbusters, running the gamut of artistic genres from farce, to tragedy, to comedy to experimental theatre, and finally, interpretative dance. And it has cost a packet, with a lengthy examination of allegations that the Minister for Improbably Well Behaved Hair, Senator Michaelia Cash, was inappropriately multitasking by combining a police raid on the AWU with a press conference, allegedly masterminded by one of a few staffers who appears to have done a bunk.

"We received a tip-off from an anonymous source, who is a known informant," said a spokesperson from the Registered Organisations Commission, a body described by an anonymous highly placed insider, as "an organisation that no-one wanted, to address a problem that didn't exist".

"We hoped that the TURC might give us some traction, but that Dyson Heydon bloke buggered it up and has gone back to inventing vacuum cleaners".

Senator Cash appears to have given conflicting accounts of what may have occurred: who tipped off whom and when. Opposition and cross bench senators engaged in intense forensic questioning while playing Candy Crush and checking out kitten and baby goat videos on Twitter.

The Senator initially denied she knew anything, then denied denying it, only to issue a denial of her previous denial, and then denying she denied the previous denial and then denied she was in denial — a position supported in a statement from the Egyptian Embassy.

There are mutters in political circles that the Senator is past her use by date and may be pressured into resigning from the Senate.

Michaelia Cash attempted to shut down questioning in her opening statement, telling the committee that despite her belief she is not under investigation by the AFP, answering questions would be sub judice #auspol https://t.co/OPs83rJ1C9
— David Marler (@Qldaah) December 1, 2017

A leaked email suggests that Cash will be replaced by Kon Eftpos, a political hopeful, of Greek-Australian origin.

The Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, looked taken off guard when asked to comment, then recovered his trademark poise:

"We're not going through that crap again."

DISCLOSURE: Steve Atyre is a small, furry wombat who once unsuccessfully sought pre-selection for the National Party in a seat they've never contested.

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Where In The World Is David De Garis? Investigators have been unable to find Michaelia Cash's ex-staffer behind the AFP raid leaks to serve him a federal court subpoenahttps://t.co/XgCvJgeT08
— Alice Workman (@workmanalice) November 30, 2017