A bold new vision for Australia

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Tony Abbott set out his “bold new vision” for a “stronger Australia” at the National Press Club this week — a predictable magic pudding speech in which he spoke vaguely about "small Government" and cutting taxes, yet at the same time included vague promises about "doing more". The most insightful and hilarious review of this address was produced by razor-sharp satirist Ben Pobije in New Matilda.

Here’s a short extract:

Building up a head of steam, Our Tone told us how he will cut taxes, reduce spending, slash red tape, reduce taxes, slash spending, cut red tape, and slash taxes. He will for example remove the carbon tax. Can you believe the guts it takes to make that statement in the current tax-happy political climate? Straight into the teeth of the powerful pro-tax lobby he charges, no regard for personal safety, caring only for his fellow Australians. When he is prime minister, we can stop stumbling under the burden of taxation, in particular the carbon tax that has destroyed so many families since its introduction.

Abbott proceeds to lay out the second prong of his stronger country pitchfork: telling people what he did before. Did you know that when he was Employment Minister he boosted employment? And when he was Health Minister he boosted health? And that the Coalition has delivered good economic management, and will do it again?

The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour, is what Abbott is saying, so we can expect that as prime minister, he will bring the budget into surplus, introduce another Medicare safety net to add to the one we’ve already got, get the dole bludgers back to work, exercise daily, and possibly drop out of seminary and have some naughty sex. Predictable, he is, and you can be sure he’ll be looking out for us, because he always has before. On the other hand, on past behaviour, if we re-elect Labor they’ll undoubtedly trash the economy and refuse to reinforce British troops in Burma, just like they always have.

Read the rest of this piece on the New Matilda website by clicking here.

You can read more of the thoughts of Ben Pobije on his blog by clicking here.

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