The story of the Red Queen and the Mad Monk

Watching Federal Parliament and the vicious news media recently has led former Victorian MP Denise Allen to pen her own Grimm masterpiece.

Have you ever watched one those supernatural TV shows or movies, where there is always the constant battle between good and evil? Watching Federal Parliament lately has tempted me to write my own horror story.

Once upon a time … there was a ruthless ambitious politician – we’ll call him…oh I don’t know … maybe the “Mad Monk” cos he once trained for the seminary – who lusted after the leadership of the land with such a crazed, erratic, fervour that he swore on the Bible, that should he ever be denied what he considered to be his rightful role, he would do everything and anything in his power to demolish all who got in his way.

The Lady of the Realm – we shall call her Catherine…after Catherine the Great of Russia who got rid of her husband so she could rule – had, months earlier, come to lead the land by chopping of the head of her predecessor because he “had lost his way”. In doing so, she had angered many of her followers and, in the months following, had failed to convince the people that what she had done was “for the good of the land”.

However, when the time came for the people to choose who they wanted to lead the land … they couldn’t decide! On one hand, they loathed and feared the ruthless ambitious politician … and on the other, they were very angry with the Lady of the Realm for chopping off the head of the man who had led the land because … well … they didn’t think he had really done anything wrong and didn’t understand why it was so necessary to chop his head off! And because if anyone was going to chop his head off … well … it should be them!



Enter the four wise men whose job it was to decide who would be the leader.

After days of meetings and intense negotiation … the four wise men announced that the leader of the land would be … Catherine … the Lady of the Realm!

This made the Mad Monk very, very, angry indeed and, in his rage, he promised that he would do everything in his power to not only destroy the Lady of Realm, even if that meant trashing all the principles by which the land had lived for over a hundred years … because in his mind, he was the rightful ruler and the only person who could rule the land!

With the help of her loyal followers and the four wise men, Catherine enacted progressive new laws (especially one to protect the environment) … but the Mad Monk refused to accept or support anything Catherine was enacting and set about scaring and brainwashing the people into believing that Catherine was the evil one — that she was out to destroy their jobs and their very way of life.

Catherine, even though she had a good heart and enacted good policy, was forever making hapless, bungling, decisions and – for some strange inexplicable reason – couldn’t, or wouldn’t, explain to the people why her policies were good for them. This made her followers groan in despair and her detractors label her as incompetent.

The Mad Monk shouted from the rooftops: “we’all be doomed!” He strutted amongst the people dressed in tiny red undies … and into their stores and places of work, pretending he cared for them; he whispered negative, soul destroying lies into their insecure, frightened ears and made the people think that life as they knew it would come to end if they allowed this wicked woman to continue her wicked ways.

He whipped the people into a frenzy … those who could write wrote stories of fear and doom … the people started turning their backs on her … some even called her a wicked witch!

The Mad Monk had cast a spell over the people … he unleashed a black cloud of negativity of such proportions that it not only permeated the entire land but also infected the minds of the people … they became pessimistic, down hearted and even more fearful.

The land that was once green and fertile and rich with colour was becoming a dark desolute, barren land.

The wealthy and the powerful people of the land, who – as they sat in the gold plated houses, eating off gold plated plates – rubbed their sizeable, overfull stomachs with glee … for they, too, loathed Catherine for enacting laws to make them share their immense wealth with the rest of the people … and couldn’t wait for her to be destroyed and for the Mad Monk to come to power for he would not make them share their wealth with the peasants! … and would also give them HUGE tax breaks!

Meanwhile, back at the “house”, one of Catherine’s loyal knaves had been accused of stealing money from poor workers and using some of it to cavort with ladies of the night. Even though the evidence against him was damning … the knave was unswerving in declaring his innocence … and in insisting that there was some nasty person/people out there in the land who wished to ruin his life and, to do so, had “set him up”.

The Mad Monk and his band of shifty men (and women) thought “Ah ha!” … the people will never tolerate a leader who would dare to put up with such a corrupt and debauched man … we shall set about obliterating this “rotten” woman and the rabble who support her by viciously character-assassinating the knave and demanding she chop of his head! (The Mad Monk and all his followers were, of course, absolutely squeaky clean and none of them had skeletons in their closets!)

Relentlessly, day in and day out, the Mad Monk and his band of shifty band of men (and women) bayed for the blood of the knave… “Orf with his head” they cried! They accused Catherine of being weak and untrustworthy and not worthy of being the leader of the land.

For the Mad Monk believed HE was the only person who should ever lead the land! He made outrageous promises to the people to make them believe he cared about them … promises he knew he would never be able to keep (nor had any intention of keeping).

He again whipped those who could write into a feeding frenzy … they wrote mean and cruel stories about the Catherine and the knave … and the people revelled in the gutter journalism. A kangaroo court was set up, run by the Mad Monk, his band of sneaky men and women, and those who could write and, lo and behold! … the knave was found guilty.

The Mad Monk’s offsider, Nuff Nuff, when railing against Catherine back at the ‘house’ was so enraged with indignation … his face was red with fury, he was frothing at the mouth … and was spewing such venom that one was expecting a volcanic torrent of green bile to come vomiting out of his mouth across the table at Catherine.

But Catherine and her band of merry men and women and the lawmakers of the land … were determined to uphold the rule of law and separation of powers … and were resolute in that the knave would remain innocent until proven guilty in a court of law … which had always been the law of the land.

And, because she feared for the people if the Mad Monk ever if become leader … she was also determined that she would not willingly, or through bullying, hand over the role to the Mad Monk and his band of sneaky men (and women).

But the Mad Monk was getting more and more infuriated every day that he wasn’t the leader and vowed to continue on his road of destruction; so, whilst the “house” was not sitting, he and his group of trolls sat around his cauldron mixing up more and more evils spells with which to infect the minds of the people…

We await the next exciting episode….

…will the Mad Monk win in his lust for power? …or will Catherine resolutely hang on by her fingertips? More importantly … will the people finally see that Catherine is really a good-hearted person with the best of intentions? Can she win back the hearts and minds of the people … or will the fear that has been so deeply imbedded in the minds of the people drive them to believe the Mad Monks outrageous promises and make him their leader?




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