LOGIN
Satire

Scott Morrison attracts praise and criticism after Fiji water boy appearance

By | | comments
PM Scott Morrison excelled himself as a waterboy at the rugby league international in Fiji — or did he?

Reviews have been mixed about Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s cameo as a water boy in a rugby league international in Fiji on the weekend.

A barefooted Morrison was seen running bottles of water out to hydrate players in the second half, which the Australian Kangaroos official Twitter account described as “prestigious”.

The Australian Footwear Manufacturers Guild, however, put the boot in, describing Morrison’s bare feet as a “clear example of his total lack of support”.

Morrison was also seen hydrating himself in the stands, downing a number of tinnies, watched on by a seemingly bemused Fijian PM Frank Bainimarama.

Also causing widespread remark was a damp patch in the crotch of Morrison’s moleskins, widely advertised via a vast manspread.

The Australian Brewers League, on the one hand, applauded Morrison’s extremely open support for the beer industry.

“There’s nothing we like better than seeing a gutsy Australian prime minister pissing it up,” said an ABL spokesperson.

However, representatives from communities in the lower Murray were less pleased with Morrison’s antics.

“It’s very disappointing,” remarked one farmer. “Yet again, we see it’s cotton that gets irrigated first.”

Scott Morrison himself hosed down his critics, saying his performance merely “demonstrated his strong commitment to drought relief”.

Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese said Scott Morrison’s leadership must be called into question after this display.

 “I’d say he [Morrison] is in a wee bit of trouble,” said Mr Albanese. “That’s a Libspill there if ever I’ve seen one.”

The PM, however, doused down any leadership speculation.

“What a drip!” responded Mr Morrison. “Sure, it’s not easy being Prime Minister of this vast incontinent, but there’s no way I’m letting it go down the drain.”

“Why can’t people just relax and focus on a great game of footy? I mean, how good is soccer?!”

You can follow managing editor Dave Donovan on Twitter @davrosz

Support independent journalism Subscribe to IA.

 
Recent articles by David Donovan
Address from the Prime Minister at Liberal Party Conference

Friends, I want to share this with you. if you have a go, you get a go. I firmly ...  
John Curtin Research Centre pushes Labor to the Right

Labor insiders express their disappointment about Labor's so-called thinktank, the ...  
EDITORIAL: The John Curtin Research Centre pushes Labor to the Right

Labor insiders express their disappointment about Labor's so-called thinktank, the ...  
Join the conversation
comments powered by Disqus

Support Independent Australia

IA is dedicated to providing fearless, independent journalism, free for all, with no barriers. But we need your help. To keep us speaking truth to power, please consider donating to IA today - even a dollar will make a huge difference - or subscribe and receive all the benefits of membership. Keep ‘em honest. Support IA.

Subscribe Donate