The good the bad and the ugly

Bazza and Mick chuckle over today's news cycle, likening it to the good ole days of free-to-air television.

Mick landed the schooners and sighed.

Too many choices, Bazza. First of all, you have to choose between Netflix, Stan, Prime, Binge or whatever and spend another half an hour scrolling through the content trying to reach agreement on what to watch.

Crikey, it’s almost enough to yearn for the good ole days when free-to-air channels dictated what you were going to watch and at what time. As a kid, we would all sit round the television come Sunday night and watch whatever movie was dished up. Nowadays… too many bloody choices, Bazza.

Bazza took a measured sip and chuckled.

“I have given up on all the streaming services, Mick. I watch the news instead. It doubles up as drama, comedy, entertainment, variety and the odd bit of news.”

Mick rubbed his forehead and Bazza leaned back.

“In fact, Mick, I reckon you cannot go past the United States Presidential Election for all your viewing needs.”

Mick’s eyes widened and he took a decent sip.

First up, you have Donald Trump outdoing the Almighty. It took god six days to create the Earth before resting on the seventh.

Donald Trump has promised to end the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, stop illegal immigration, impose tariffs and generally make American great again all within the first day of taking office. I don’t think he is even going to rest on the second day. It beats a thriller movie any day.

Bazza took a sip.

But… it gets even more biblical, Mick. I could go to a streaming channel and watch the scene from ‘The Life Of Brian’ where the mob chases Brian, demanding he give them a sign he is the Almighty.

When he loses his sandal in the chase it is taken as a 'sign'. When the Donald Trump faithful all sported an ear bandage in solidarity with their leader following the assassination attempt… well… why bother with Netflix or whatever? Clearly, the ear bandage is a sign. It’s comedy on the nightly news.

Mick smiled and rubbed his head.

Ahh… you have thought this through, Bazza. Come to think of it, the antics of Joe Biden and the Democrats resemble a scene from World Championship Wrestling, which we would watch on Saturday mornings. There was a wrestler called Mark Lewin who would put a sleeper hold on his opponents and they would end up looking like Joe Biden. Now, that beats an action flick.

Bazza grinned.

“You've got the hang of it, Mick… all there on the nightly news. We also have Kamala Harris now entering the presidential race. She has strolled into town like sheriff Wyatt Earp, vowing to go after the convicted felon. It will do me for a Western. She may even evolve into a superhero as we get closer to November.”

Mick skulled his schooner and wiped the froth from his lips as Bazza leaned back.

“Sorry Bazza… I am going to call it quits. I want to get home to watch the news.”

John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.