Noely Neate looks at some of the potential repercussions of Folau's Law, with tongue planted firmly in cheek.
WE HAVE A NEW Liberal Government, or “Coalition” Government since they can only form Government with a “secret squirrel” agreement with their country cousins, the Nationals, but they like to call themselves a “Coalition” as it sounds all official-like and it was a massive win.
The AEC has not finalised all votes yet, but I think at last glance they are only one or two seats better off in Parliament than they were before the election, so still only a few heart attacks away from a hung Parliament. But, it was an epic win — honestly, would the vast mainstream media in this nation ever let a narrative get in the way of the truth? So, we are now in the “mandate” cycle of this “sensational” win for the Coalition and boy, is it thrilling?
The nation is finally finding out if the Liberals and Nationals actually had any policies.
Now, we knew that big business tax cuts and more coal were the most important issues facing this nation – just ask Scott Morrison and News Limited – but who knew that “religious freedom” was also on that “mandate” list?
Not the fact that more than 100,000 Australians are homeless every night, not indigenous youth suicides, not that over 3 million Australians are living below the poverty line. No, issues like these pale in comparison to the utter disgrace which is the dangerous discrimination under which those of faith in this nation suffer.
Obviously, as a lapsed Catholic, I can’t honestly profess to comprehend the damage that is caused by the inability to call a “poof a poof”, “tell gays they will go to hell”, “boot the gay kiddies from their schools” or make sure those evil non-religious types don’t sneak into a job in my religious organisation and corrupt anybody with their secular ways.
It must be scary for them, always having had a special place of privilege within media and government, they are now finding themselves under siege, expected to follow the law just like everyone else. Who would have thought it would ever get to this sad state of affairs?
But never fear. Our Pentecostal PM has the “Ruddock religious freedom review” ready to whip out of the top draw and assuage the concerns of those suffering under this heinous discrimination. He is bringing the big guns to the party, too — Liberal senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells and former deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce are hot to trot and have even given the push a topical name to brand it: Folau’s Law.
How good is Folau’s Law?
Everyone loves a footy player, particularly a good one. Especially one like Israel Folau who is already a martyr to the cause of religious freedom. This poor, strapping lad got sacked by Rugby Australia just for sharing scripture on social media, spreading the word, trying to save Australian souls.
Yes, some are trying to pretend that it was an employment issue, a contractual thing with a so-called panel of legal types – John West QC, Kate Eastman SC and John Boultbee SC – carrying on about ‘a high level breach of Rugby Australia's code of conduct’, but we know that could not really be the cause of him losing his God-given right be paid a fortune to play footy and trash LGTBTIQ – and every other type of sinner – publicly.
Concetta and Barnaby will be backing the PM to the hilt in ensuring that tough new laws are put in place so that all those of faith can be comforted knowing they can legally tell all gay people and fornicators they will go to hell. As a well-known fornicator himself, Barnaby is probably the most experienced politician in Parliament to ensure this matter of great national importance is sorted quickly and strongly.
Christians all over the nation can have faith in their Government to let them safely yell “poof” at gays loitering over dinner in restaurants or summarily toss out kids from schools who might have had a sly glance at a cutie of the same sex. Better yet, sack the Godless employee who might be a bit too kind to those of other faiths or, God forbid, no faith.
Actually, I think it is only Christians who will have this right. I could be wrong, it could be those of the Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu and Jewish faiths, too, though I’ve not heard of any others besides Christians talked about in media as yet. Then again, our Treasurer is our famous Jew in Parliament and I doubt he would vote for a law that didn’t let him legally discriminate, too.
Though, I do have some questions.
If I rediscover my Catholic faith, can I sack that annoying receptionist who stuffs up the phone messages all the time? Because I’m pretty sure when I look at her social media – which she is on all the time, mind you – that she might be one of those Church of England types and thinking of becoming a pastor in her church — those “types” let women do that.
Come to think of it, maybe I can get around all those annoying workplace discrimination laws. We all trawl through social media before we employ someone, so how easy is it to see if they are Godless or not? How easy is it to see if they might not support my particular brand of Christianity? And, now that secularism is not so cool in this country, I am thinking I might go for a particularly hardcore form of regressive Christianity, because it does seem to be the trend nowadays.
I hope Scooter, Connie and BJ get Folau’s Law right. I'd hate to think there might be any pesky loopholes that might allow for those odd Christian types like Father Bob or Father Rod Bower to slip through and infect the population with their silly “love for all of God’s children” nonsense and ruin the discrimination party.
No. I have faith.
In the words of the great George Henry Brandis QC, former Senator, former Attorney-General and now Australian diplomat, “people have a right to be bigots”. Thankfully, for the future of this nation, we will be able to save all those homeless and those suffering in poverty and make Australia great again with Folau’s Law.
How good is discrimination?
Support independent journalism Subscribe to IA.