Constitutional football — the latest game in Australian politics

By | | comments |
(Image by V Oneale aka twikydesigner via @ozchat4u)

Our Constitution is being kicked around like a football at the moment, writes Tony Magrathea.

It’s time to visit the imaginarium.

Football is now played just once every three years and the latest winner did it fairly easily. 

The captain of the winning team is Tony Abbott, but he carried a dirty little secret into the game in the form of an extra football tucked up his jumper.

The referee knew all about it, but couldn’t blow his whistle because the Football Association was barred from looking for hidden footballs. The FA was stopped from doing this by rules set down by Tony’s fullback Special Minister of State Senator Michael Ronaldson.

The crowd could complain, but it was a home game and two of them had to scrape up $500 and go to the High Court within 40 days of the game finishing. And there was lots of drinking done after the game, so some forgot and others had no money to even begin.

The game ended ages ago, so the only way for anything to be done about the cheating now is one or two of Tony’s team mates complaining to a few other team mates and decide amongst themselves what's going to happen. Needless to say, nothing did happen.

The opponents couldn’t really complain about it, because it was believed one or two of their bench players had extra balls stuffed up their jumpers too.

The reporters said nothing because they reckoned it could have been a birth defect and so there would be much embarrassment for the reporter who brought that sort of thing up.

The foreign press loved it, giggled madly at how stupid we Australians were for putting up with such blatant cheating, but they were all poms or wogs so don’t really count. 

And that’s it, section 44 of our Constitution written so my 5 year old grandson can understand. Any of you blue tie wearing bogans who can’t handle this sort of explanation should get yourself down to the local club house and sign up immediately.

You can follow Tony Magrathea on Twitter @dickybeacholdie.

Creative Commons Licence
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Australia License

Monthly Donation


Single Donation


Be a good citizen. Subscribe to IA for just $5.

Recent articles by Tony Magrathea
Middle finger for the Census 2016

Due to personal experience of how such data can be obtained for purposes other than ...  
Constitutional football — the latest game in Australian politics

Our Constitution is being kicked around like a football at the moment, writes Tony ...  
Not a birther

The man who opened the can of worms about Abbott’s potential ineligibility to sit ...  
Join the conversation
comments powered by Disqus

Support IAIndependent Australia

Subscribe to IA and investigate Australia today.

Close Subscribe Donate