Satire Opinion

When your best fiction writing is your daily to-do list

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(Image by RDNE Stock project | Pexels)

Mick teaches Bazza this trick to squeezing the most out of life over a 'reluctant' beer or three.

Mick nodded at the offered schooner and tapped his watch as Bazza arrived.

‘Ahh, sorry about that, Mick. The postie is always good for a chat these days. He seems to have a lot more time. It’s more about parcel deliveries than letters these days.”

Bazza took a sip. Mick raised an eyebrow.

“You have got to stick to the schedule, Bazza. I allocate a certain amount of time to have a beer with you each week. I do it out of the goodness of my heart because, lets face it, people are not queuing up to hear your warped view of the world. It throws my timetable out if you are 15 minutes late.”

Bazza grinned.

“It is very kind of you to allocate time to socialise with me, Mick. You really should have worked for the railways… ah… but then again, they hardly ever run on time in Australia.”

Mick sighed and leaned in.

"You need far more structure in your life, Bazza. Every Monday morning I plan the week ahead, in detail. I make a list of the essentials such as shopping, taking the garbage out, mowing the lawn and the like. The time I spend having a beer with you is classed as essential, as I see it as my bit of community service, so you should value the time."

Mick went on.

I have another list of the activities which I actually enjoy such as golf, men’s shed, swimming, going to the movies and so on. I then organise a timetable with allocated times, print it off and put it on the fridge. I also keep a copy of the timetable on my phone in case my memory lets me down. I know where I have to be, how long I spend on the activity and when I am due at the next one.

Bazza followed Mick’s finger as he scrolled through his phone.

“That is a very structured approach to life, Mick. Why do you need to timetable ‘walk the dog’ and ‘eat breakfast’ each day? I would have thought those activities were a given.”

Mick’s face reddened.

‘Well, Bazza… if someone wants to plan an activity with me, I like to take them to the timetable to show them how busy I am. It makes them feel more valued if they think I am squeezing them into my hectic schedule.”

Bazza chuckled and took a sip.

“I tend to wing it a bit, Mick. I can easily get lost in a book and I am also trying to do some writing these days. How about the spontaneity of life?”

Mick took a decent sip and shook his head.

“Bazza, Bazza…Bazza. There is some flexibility for a bit of spontaneity as long as it can be justified. For example, I will not miss a funeral because I have to mow the lawns or I may take an occasional cruise up the middle aisle of Aldi even though I well know none of the items are on the shopping list.”

Mick drained the remainder of his schooner and glanced at his watch.

“Well… that’s you done for another week, Bazza. Now it’s time for something enjoyable.”

John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.

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