Mick sipped his schooner as his eyes and ears remained trained on Know-All-Ron.
“Well…you see, Mick, tariffs are good for the domestic economy. They work like a tax on imports which foreign companies must pay to sell their products in the USA. Now… Donald Trump is proposing a 10 to 20 percent tariff on all foreign goods and a 60 percent tariff on goods from China, so you can just imagine the boost to the domestic economy. It’s a revenue earner for the government which will take care of their enormous deficit and a huge boost to local manufacturing… so that is why he is on such a winner.”
Mick clicked his tongue.
“By gee, you are on top of things, Ron. If I had a bit more pull, I would nominate you for a Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. No wonder Trump is so popular. You would reckon the Democrats would be more switched on to such innovative solutions to massive economic problems.”
Know-All-Ron took a deep breath as Bazza’s fingers squeezed both eyes, before lowering his palm to rub his chin repeatedly.
“You blokes cannot be serious. For starters, the Democrats do support some of this voodoo economics, just not to the extent Trump sees it as a cure all. Do you for a moment believe a foreign company will just absorb the tariff and not pass it on to consumers through higher prices for their products? Shareholders would string up management for such benevolence. U.S. consumers will pay higher to keep inefficient local industries competitive. Higher prices drive inflation and, as we well know, interest rates higher. I don’t get why people swallow such simplistic solutions.”
Know-All-Ron shook his head.
“I would say you are being horrible, Bazza! In fact, really horrible!”
Mick gritted his teeth.
“Yes… you are not being very nice, Bazza…. not very nice at all. In fact, I would say you are being a bit mean to the future leader of the free world. You spend too much time listening to extreme left wing views such as Vice President nominee Tim Walz, an ex-teacher, Bazza. Now…have you ever met a teacher that was not a raging communist? He was responsible for organising free lunches at his school… now… that is just welfare on a plate. Imagine what he would do if he gets access to the U.S. Budget.”
Bazza’s face reddened.
“Mick… spending on child nutrition is arguably as much an investment in the future as building roads and bridges. There’s a bloody strong case that, in general, child nutrition programs more than pay for themselves by creating a healthier, higher-earning future workforce. In short, a fed kid is easier to educate, ensuring a pathway out of poverty and crime. All very communist, Mick.”
Bazza shook his head before a long pause.
Timeless Tom leaned in.
“Bazza…why would everybody be wearing those MAGA baseball caps if Trump was not going to make America great again? It must be true. It is important we pull you up here, Bazza, before you start accusing him of lying. Anyhow, I want to talk about who is eating the dogs in Ohio.”
Bazza’s eyes widened and he chuckled as Tom tut-tutted.
“All well and good to laugh, Bazza, but I just read on social media this morning Ohio posties and cars are being chased down the street by illegal migrants and….. and I add…. a local dog food company is laying off staff.”
John Longhurst is a former industrial advocate and political adviser. He currently works as an English and History teacher on the South Coast of NSW.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Australia License
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