Independent Australia proudly announces the inaugural and exclusive global 500 Poor List.
And we are asking you to submit nominations.
Who are the world's poorest individuals?
There are no age limits, no geographical imposts, no political, cultural, racial or religious boundaries.
Thanks to Forbes Magazine, we know the names of the world's richest people but, let's be honest, we haven't got a clue about the poorest.
It's time to balance the books on this one.
There are a few conditions on nominations.
Judges will not tolerate any poseurs.
Or nouveau pauvre or wannabees.
Nominees cannot be bankrupts, fall-from-grace Wall Street types, ex-celebs in rehab, Cardinals in sexual abuse rehab, retired Popes, or related by birth to Gina Rinehart.
Rather, they should be endemically poor, not born with a plastic or heroin spoon in their mouth and daily be in danger of dying from starvation, lack of clean water or disease.
Supportive evidence, such as skin parasitic lesions, stomachs bloated from hunger and tapeworms, fistulas, glaucoma, blindness and weeping eyes, is encouraged.
Entrants cannot be literate.
Nominees from developed nations are permitted. This search for the most poor is not confined to undeveloped countries, or developing countries. The presence of foreign mining interests in these countries does not prohibit nomination.
The ownership of shares, Prada handbags, property or animals is strictly prohibited, as is the use of false hair extensions, botox, participation in reality cooking shows and penile enhancements.
The numbers of stillborn babies and infant mortalities will count as credits for nominees.
Being stateless, as well as homeless, will be considered an advantage.
Broken hearts and limbs, crushed spirits and injured souls are welcome.
Judges are to be immediately informed if nominees die in between the nomination date and Judgement Day, and such nominees will automatically be disqualified; that is, nominations cannot be transferred to surviving children or relatives.
All nominations are to be accompanied by a photo of the nominee and a mobile phone number and email address.
It is a condition of entry that nominees agree to be available to participate in a reality TV show and that all copyright and immoral rights thereby revert to Independent Australia in perpetuity and that all expenses will be borne by the nominees.
The Inaugural 500 Poor List is an equal opportunity list and encourages nominations from women, people with disabilities and Aboriginal and Torres Straits Islanders.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Australia License
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independent journalist, michaelwest.com.au