Margaret returns home to the Abbott family home after a week away visiting relatives.
Margaret: Tony? I’m home dear.
Tony: Yes, hun. I’m in the living room.
Margaret: Tony! What have you been doing? The place is a mess. Dirty dishes everywhere. The dishwasher is full. The benches are dirty. You promised you’d keep the house clean.
Tony: Sorry, Dear. You know I’ve been busy.
Margaret: You promised.
Tony: I told you, I’m sorry. I know I promised you.
Margaret: A promise is a promise. And look at the state of this living room! Mess on the floor. Cushions and newspapers everywhere. You promised me Tony. You know I hate coming home to a dirty house.
Tony: What can I say, Margie? I’m sorry.
Margaret: Tony! The bed’s a mess. The en suite looks like a bomb hit it. Towels strewn all over the floor. You’re a disgrace.
Tony: What do you want me to do? I can’t rewrite history. I fucked up. Big deal. I made a promise and didn’t keep it. What are you going to do? Call me Julia?
Margaret: There is no need for that, Anthony. I bet you haven’t mown the back lawn. I’ll check...
[Checks out the back.]
How could you?! What have you been doing while I was away? Nothing around the house, obviously. Oh, I know. You’ve been writing an article with your little precious petal Peta, about how useless Mr Harbourside Mansion is.
Tony: Leave Peta out of this please. You promised never to mention her name.
Margaret: I did not. You promised not to mention her name in this house — ever. Did you water the plants like you promised me you would?
Tony: Uh.... The plants?
Margaret: Yes. Remember? The azaleas and petunias Aunty Elsie gave me.
[Margaret goes to the back of their yard and discovers the azaleas and petunias dead in their pots.]
I don’t believe you, Tony! The plants. You promised. Dishes I can wash. Rooms I can clean. But the plants — they’re dead! Don’t you care about the natural environment?! Those flowers were beautiful.
Tony: For fuck’s sake, Margaret! Put a sock in it. I’m sorry. I’ll buy you some new plants tomorrow.
[There’s a knock on the door.]
Margaret: You get that. I’m too upset to speak to anyone.
Tony: OK ... hullo?
Journalist: Tony Abbott? Laurie Bloggs from the Sydney Morning Herald. Why are you supporting the same-sex marriage issue being presented to the Australian public in the form of a vote, albeit a postal vote?
Tony:. Well, Laurie. It was a promise we made to the people at the last election and if there’s one thing I believe, it is that you have to abide by and keep your promises.
.@TonyAbbottMHR: "This is not about the politicians, this is about the people. It's about your view." #SSM #plebiscite #auspol pic.twitter.com/0AXJDSRuJP
— #BringBackAbbott (@TeamTAbbott) August 9, 2017
[Author’s note: I do not brook journalists and politicians telling us Tony Abbott’s opinions deserve to be aired because he was once our nation’s elected leader. Here is a short list of a few people who rose to be leader of their nation: Idi Amin; Hitler; Pol Pot; Mussolini; Pinochet; Saddam Hussein; Richard Nixon; Shah of Persia; Gaddafi; Joseph Stalin; George Bush (H. and W.) Donald J. Trump. That is not even the tip of the tip of the iceberg. Catch my drift?]
Rocky Dabscheck is a musician/songwriter and front person for Rocky and The Two Bob Millionaires. He is also the author of Stoney Broke and the Hi-Spenders.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Australia License
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